Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A New York Update

Here in New York, I'm struggling to find a Ron Paul badge. Probably because he dropped out of the race a long time ago. And I am struggling to find a McCain badge as well. So I have settled on two Obama ones, one of which claims he "rocks". For me, The Who rock, Obama - as a slightly dull politico - doesn't. That said, I am wearing my badge with pride, showing my reluctant support for a man I can't even vote for. Man, Obama should be grateful.

But here in the US they really know how to do elections - with petulant debates and angry campaign ads, through to shafting the nation's economy to score cheap political points. So much so that even the hardened election watcher in me is sick of the US election. Which means I am now off to do something far more productive with my time - look for Spiderman webslinging around the roof tops of NYC. 

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Ryan Adams - New York, New York

Well, your humble author is off holiday to New York to (amongst other reasons) to score myself a Ron Paul badge. So unless I get some decent WiFi access in the Big Apple or the Moai gets back from Japan and remembers his password for this site, posting on the Strangeness will be light for a while.

So to tide you over, I will leave you with "New York, New York". The Ryan Adams version, obviously...

UPDATE: The video appears to be no longer available. Even though it is on YouTube and works. So you can either head to YouTube or rewatch Nellie The Elephant by the Toy Dolls (see below). Your choice; I don't really care as I am heading to NYC!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Gordon Brown: THE Failure

See, the thing about Gordon Brown is he's a failure. And that is not just for sweary, right wing bloggers. When you think about it, he has pretty much failed everyone. Those who believe in social justice (whatever that might be) aren't gaining from Gordon. Those who thought he would rebuild the tired, post-Blair Labour party are disappointed. Those who thought he might be left wing are left feeling down, and those who felt that he would be an electoral asset must have their head in their hands right about now. Hell, Gordon should look in the mirror each and every morning and shake his head, and mutter to himself "you've really fucked up, you have."

In fact, Gordon Brown isn't so much a failure, but rather the failure. He is definite article when it comes to failure. He is the absolute prime example of failure. It wouldn't surprise me if future dictionaries simply had a picture of Gordo as their definition of the word failure*. Mind you, they probably won't. Having the gormless, grey visage of Gordon Brown gurning out from the dictionary page at you isn't going to sell a whole host of copies.

Mind you, the message seems to be sinking in for Gordon, at least on some levels:
"I always want to do better, and I will do better"
Yeah, it is a pretty muted acknowledgment that Gordon's first year in Number 10 haven't gone that well for anyone, including the nation. It is a far cry from Gordon actually admitting that he is failure. But it is at least a new way for Gordon to behave now he is Prime Minister. Humility could be the way forward. Something has to be, because his strategies to date haven't gone that well. The arrogance, the sneering, the preening, the angry rages, the deep depressions, the pathetic attempts to relax whilst on holiday - all these haven't worked that well for the grim git.

Then again, this strategy won't work either. And this is not just for Gordon; it should be a rule of thumb for any Prime Minister. The "I'm sorry, I'll try harder" doesn't work for a wayward eight year old who has got a bad school report - it sure as fuck ain't going to work for someone who is meant to be an international statesman leading a country. Yes, Gordon should have done better - but why wasn't he doing better from the outset? Why has this only occurred to him now? The excuse of "well, it could have gone better" might work for someone who has just played a bad round of golf or something - for an international leader, it is as unforgivable as it is patronising.

The concept of dignity is alien to any politician, and the Nu Labourites are perhaps the best proof of this. But if Gordon wants to escape into the history books with even a shred of pride left, then he should go now. But that is the problem with Gordon. He is such a failure that he can't even get resigning right.

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An Alternative Spiderman 3

Right, I am on holiday this week. And amongst the many ways in which I'll be celebrating not having to attend work this week, one is geeking out. So be warned, this is a geek post. It represents a level of geekiness probably more associated with those on the autism spectrum. So if you come to this blog for politics based swearing, then this post won't be for you. However, if you are a geek or if you like the Spiderman film series, read on.

I was disappointed by Spiderman 3. Sure, it looked good, but it had all the soul of Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning and appeared to have been scripted by a hyper-active seven year old with a crayon. And as a result, my (fevered, slightly demented) brain came up with an alternative. So here is my version of Spiderman 3 - a plot synopsis by a hyper-active 29 year old with a crayon. Let me know what you think in the comments section. Or not. I am easy either way...

The film begins with life going well for Peter Parker – he is considering proposing to MJ, his studies are going very well, and the City is finally accepting Spiderman. The same can not be said for Harry Osborn. He wishes to hunt down Peter and wreak his revenge. He employs a disgraced, ex-army weapons expert called Jason Philip Macendale, Jr, to help him make sense of his father’s weapons.

Peter attends one of Dr Connor’s lectures, where Connor goes off spec and has a free discussion about life in space. At this point, a tiny meteor from space lands in Central Park, unnoticed. However a black substance leaks from the meteor – the Symbiote – and takes over a nearby tree. Peter then goes into the Bugle offices, only to find that his role has been half given to a flash, arrogant new photographer called Eddie Brock. Peter is angered by this, but can do nothing about it. His day gets worse when Osborn – now in the guise of the Green Goblin – attacks him. They fight across the city, with the demented Goblin apparently striking a mortal blow against Parker. The Goblin dumps Parker in Central Park, where the Symbiote finds him and saves him. He goes home, where he (much to the chagrin of MJ) gorges himself and then falls asleep. The next day, Harry visits MJ to commiserate her on the death of Peter. She is confused, and points out that Peter is still alive. However Peter is nowhere to be seen – he is out in New York, testing his new Symbiote costume in the city.

Spiderman continues to serve the city, but takes increasing risks – leading to further condemnation from the Bugle. As Parker, he is getting more arrogant, more angry, and more flirtatious. MJ confides in Aunt May, who agrees to talk to Peter. Peter dismisses her, saying he is finally becoming himself. He is also attached by the Goblin again, but this time is able to soundly beat the Goblin. Osborn is enraged, and takes some advice from Macendale. Macendale tells him to hit Parker where it hurts. Since Osborn loves MJ, he elects not to hurt her. Instead he decides to go after Aunt May.

Aunt May is kidnapped by the Goblin and her house is destroyed. Spiderman hunts down the Goblin. He saves Aunt May and embarks on a bitter fight with the Goblin. He beats Harry to a pulp, and leaves him in his apartment with a pumpkin bomb. The bomb explodes, and Spiderman assumes that Harry has been killed. He is unaware that Brock has photographed the event – and that Macendale has saved his employer, albeit with Osborn now in a coma.

The next day, Peter feels guilty about the death of Osborn and gives some of the Symbiote to Connors to study. He is horrified by the front page of the Bugle, which links Spiderman with the explosion at the Osborn place, and vows to get Brock. He doctors Brock’s photos, so they look like fakes. He then presents his doctored photos to the staff at the Bugle, and Brock is sacked. What Peter is unaware of is that Brock, a devout Catholic, was supporting his young family and under a lot of pressure from his wife. She throws him out of their home, and he takes refuge in a church.

MJ, horrified by Spiderman’s apparent murder of Osborn, searches through Peter’s stuff and finds proof that he doctored photos to discredit Brock. She confronts him, and he argues with her, pushing her over. She storms out, and then Peter takes a call from Connors. Connors explains that the Symbiote is also a parasite – it gets into the Host’s mind, fills them with adrenaline, boosting their confidence, before consuming them. It also seems to react badly to loud noises. Peter tries to pull the Symbiote off him, but to no avail. Then he hears the chiming of a nearby church bell. He goes to the bell tower, where the deafening noise allows him to wrench the Symbiote from his body. He flees the church, then collapses at home. The Symbiote finds Brock sleeping in the Church, and possesses him.

The next day, Peter tries to contact MJ but to no avail. He goes to Brock’s house to apologise, only to learn that Brock is missing. He goes to the Church where Brock prayed, and realises that Brock may have been possessed by the Symbiote. The Brock/Symbiote attacks Parker, and he only just escapes with his life when Brock controls the Symbiote. The rage in Brock and the Symbiote grows until the Symbiote completely controls Brock’s mind and gives Brock the answer he requires to how to hurt Parker – MJ.

Desperately worn out, Peter rests at home, only to learn on the news that MJ’s parents’ house has been attacked by the Symbiote. He goes there as Spiderman, and sees a challenge for him to face the Brock/Symbiote. The challenge is signed Venom. He realises Brock and MJ will be in the Church. Before he goes there, he visits Harry to try to get help from his enemy to assist the woman they both love. He makes Macendale wake Harry from his chemical coma so Macendale can tell him what is happening to MJ. He then goes off to the Church. Macendale does explain to Osborn what is happening, and gives him a stark choice. He can be pumped up with his father’s drugs and almost certainly die with 24 hours but have superpowers, or he can live out the rest of his days as an invalid. As Harry loves MJ, he goes for the former option.

Venom taunts MJ, talking about how much it will hurt Parker. MJ tries to reason with it, but Venom is utterly consumed by rage. Spiderman arrives, and Venom goes to kill him. MJ takes this opportunity to escape, but is confronted by Harry/the Goblin.

Spiderman finds the church bell is now covered with the Symbiote. The Symbiote leaves the bell and forms Venom. It fights with Spiderman, and badly hurts him. In the meantime, Harry offers to fly MJ away, proposing his undying love to her. She refuses, saying that she loves Peter – and points out that if he truly loves her, he will go to protect her – and her love – Venom. Harry realises she is correct, and goes off to challenge Venom.

Spiderman and the Goblin fight Venom, but he is too strong for them. Spiderman is half-dead by this point, having been thrown into walls and half strangled. The Goblin and Spiderman realise that the only way they will defeat Venom is by trying to separate Brock and the Symbiote. Spiderman distracts Venom for a moment by confessing to doctoring the photos, and the Goblin pins Venom to the wall with his Glider. The Goblin tries to tear the Symbiote off Brock, but it does not work. Realising they will never defeat Venom without sacrifice, Harry decides to detonate his Pumpkin bombs and kill both Venom and himself. Spiderman initially refuses, but Harry tells him he is dying anyway and that he needs to save MJ. Spiderman takes MJ away, and Harry detonates the bombs – destroying himself, Venom and the Church.

MJ realises that Peter has been badly injured but can’t seek medical help whilst he is in costume. She wrenches off his costume, covers him with her coat, and gets him to a paramedic just as he collapses.

The next day, the police visit Harry’s residence and tell Macendale – who is pretending to be a relative – that Harry has died. Macendale tours the Osborn Armoury, grinning madly, realising that all these weapons are now his…

MJ visits Peter in hospital, and finds Aunt May is already there. Aunt May vanishes back home, leaving Peter and MJ together. Peter apologies for everything he has done, and MJ forgives him, as she knows the Symbiote was controlling him. As the film ends, they embrace.

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Toy Dolls - Nelly the Elephant

Don't blame me; I just found the song on YouTube. Blame the Toy Dolls. It is their performance.

Friday, September 19, 2008

EU: Balancing the Books

So, once again the accounts of the European Union have not been signed off. That's an organisation with a budget of £116 billion that can't get its' accounts signed off. The mind boggles; it really does. And this feeling becomes even more intense when you realise that this is the 14th consecutive year when the accounts haven't been signed off and they are unlikely to be signed off until 2020!

Any other organisation that wasn't able to get the accounts signed off for 14 years would be forced out of existence and those running it would be prosecuted. Not with the EU, though. They get to merrily continue doing what they are a-doing. Helps when you can both make the law and ignore the law, doesn't it?

Even for the most ardent Europhile must concede that the complete failure of the EU to get their accounts signed off is deeply worrying. What does it say about the capability of the institution, given it cannot get the books to balance? And what does it say about this bureaucratic behemoth given the organisation does not seem to care about this glaring problem? Scrutiny, accountability, value for money, fit for purpose - all these ideas have nothing in common with the EU.

Effectively, this is £116 billion taken from the people of the EU, and the money cannot be accounted for.

Why aren't people across the EU screaming about this?

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Undertones - Jimmy Jimmy

It is no "The Eternal" or "Mongoloid", but I still like this track...

Controversial topics for the Cabinet:

"Gordon Brown's authority was further undermined last night after it emerged several ministers sharply criticised the decision to use this week's political cabinet to discuss Tory weaknesses rather than Labour's own unpopularity."
Jesus Christ yeah. This is a controversial area that the Cabinet should - nay, must debate - whether they should be banging on about the Tories being popular or Labour being unpopular.

And apparently, just as it should with an issue that is crucial for the future of our great nation, the conversation got heard:

Another cabinet source said it was a very bad atmosphere "with some of us hardly able to look at him [Brown]".
Holy fuck, yeah. This is the sort of thing that the Cabinet should be split over. Whether they should be discussing the Tories are popular or whether Labour is unpopular. This is critical fucking stuff, I'm sure you will agree.

Mr Ed Balls, for me, has the foresight and wisdom to round this argument up well:

At one point Ed Balls, the children's secretary, defended the focus saying: "We know why the electorate do not like us."
Yes, I hope the Labour party do know why they are so unpopular, though I suspect they don't. The reason is really, really fucking simple. It is because they will argue and bitch over such minor debate points as popularity at the same time as the economy goes down the shitter. At the same time as our poorly equipped troops are dying abroad. At the same time as stabbings and violent crime increases. And at the same time as both the education system and the NHS enter what looks increasingly like their death throes.

If the Labour party really wants to understand why they are so hated by the people of this country, they should look at this pointless fucking argument the pointless fuckers in the Cabinet had over what to debate. Squabbling like four year olds over who gets to decide the topic of the latest meeting just shows how hopelessly and utterly out of touch they are with the people of this country. The people they are supposed to be representing and leading.

So just remember, as your bills rise and the economy stagnates, the Cabinet is there for you. To debate whether they should be talking about the Tories being popular, or about their own unpopularity. And make sure you act on that unpoularity at the next election.

And kick the bunch of arrogant cunts out of power forever.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Calm Down, Everyone

Ok, the economy is struggling. Badly. Big businesses that this time last year were very much success stories and part of the establishment are going under or being bought. People are going to suffer, jobs are going to be lost, and the nice, pleasant economic decade we have just had is over.

But seriously, the way some people are talking about all this you would think that we are living through the end of days. We're not. And for every lefty pseudo-Marxist who is gleefully rubbing their hands and predicting the imminent demise of capitalism - please do shut up. You're not helping.

The economy is readjusting after a decade of excess. Some businesses went too far, and their business plans did not take into account what would happen if the economy faltered. It is a tragedy for everyone who has lost their business or their job, and whilst I think things are going to get worse before they get any better, I also hope that the econonmy picks up again soon. But downturns and recession are as much a part of the economic cycle as booms - whatever lies Gordon Brown might spout.

This is not the end of capitalism, it is not the end of everything. Calm down, everyone, and try hoping for the best. Rather than prophesising the worst.

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Talking Seven Shades of Shite

This is, believe it or not, Alastair Darling talking about Gordon Brown:
"I have every confidence in Gordon Brown. I believe he is the right person to lead this country and to lead our party and I know that at the conference next week he will set out his vision for the future."
Now, I thought Gordo's reason for not holding an election last year was so he could spell out his vision for the future. A year on, and the vision thing still isn't happening. And I can't be alone in maybe thinking that Brown doesn't have a vision for the future. I can't be alone in thinking that Brown has nothing going round in his mind other than blind panic. Which should be evident to anyone who is not deaf, dumb, blind, stupid or a member of the Labour Cabinet.

But that is not my main point. Rather, I am wondering precisely what Darling hopes to achieve by spouting this half baked shite at the nation? I know he is fucking stupid - he is a Nu Labour minister, so it is pretty much a pre-requisite for his job. But I can't believe that he is so stupid that he really believes this empty rhetoric that is spewing from his mouth like tramp sick. And surely he can't think that he is going to convice anyone. Darling is the most compromised of politicians - pretty much ever knows that he is a cross between a puppet chacellor and an incompetent dick head. He can't think that anyone is really going to listen to him, and if they do, actually heed his advice.

And why is he doing this? Why stand up and spout these lies at the media and at the people? Does he think it will help him to keep his job? That ain't ever going to happen - rather like his boss, Darling's removal from office is a case of when, now, not if. The best I can think is that this is some sort of loyalty - a deeply misguided, utterly insane version of loyalty. But if it is down to loyalty, Darling needs to learn that loyalty is only a virtue if you are being loyal to something that is actually worth it. And Gordon Brown, most certainly, is not worth it.

Darling, and all the other minister currently running to the aid of the floundering PM during this increasingly impotent looking coup, should give up and try a different tactic. They should hold up their hands and admit they made a mistake with Gordon. They should just be honest, and say their choice of PM was a fuck up and they are sorry. Because anything else - and in particular this absolute nonsense fucking loyalty to a man who is about as popular and useful as syphilis, is patronising and deceitful. They know Brown is a cunt, we know Brown is a cunt. Please can we all stop pretending, kick the fucking cock out of office, and just move on?

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Monday, September 15, 2008

Choose

DK seems to have got himself into a bit of a fire fight over a drunken post he wrote, where he suggested that you are either a Libertarian or a de facto totalitarian (and a lot more besides). The full post can be found in the comments section if you want to read some full on, sweary ranting. It won’t be to everyone’s taste, but it does demonstrate a simple truth. You are either Libertarian, or you believe in the State. And there is a further simple truth that follows on – the three main parties support the State, and the intrusion of the State into the private life of the citizens.

Therefore, if you are a Labour supporter, a Lib Dem supporter, or a Tory, you support the State. Yes, the Tories might be less Statist that Nu Labour, but you are being staggeringly naïve if you believe that, on balance, the Tories will be much better than the Labour party. Their instinct is to make government the solution to society’s ills; they just see different ways in which government can be the plaster on society’s issues. Mark my words, Cameron will do some vague Libertarian posturing whilst he is still popular. But come the first dip in popularity, he will show himself to be just as Statist as those governing at the moment. A clampdown on drugs or something else that The Daily Mail sees as utterly evil will happen as soon as the voters start to question the Cameron brand. Just as the Nu Labour bastards started nationalising as soon that economy started to go down the shitter.

And it will be the naivete, and the complete failure to understand that people have a right to a private life and the right to live without the constant, suffocating, draconian presence of government, that will lead to further little yet damning erosions of freedom in this country. Take this policy – admirably dealt with here. The government sees that it has the right to tell you how fat to be, and if you dare to deviate from the path the State has decided for you, then it will send minions to come up to you and insult you to your face. Yes, this is a local government initiative, but it sums up the mentality of those in government nicely. Their question is “how can we legislate to *help*?” Not “do we need to intervene here?” Or “will any good come from us intervening here?” Nu Labour, Tories, Lib Dems – the arrogance of our ruling class is such that regardless of their rhetoric, deep down they feel they know better than you. And that is all of them – all the main parties. Brown, Cameron, Clegg; ignore the liberal lip-service and get down to the truth. They know best. And they will tell you what to do, because they believe that they know better than you on how you should live your own life.

I don’t know how the Libertarian Party can push itself into the political arena properly. I do know that all those who prop up the Tories in a hope that they will suddenly rip of their mask and become Libertarians once in power are on a hiding to nothing. And those that think they can convince the blue rinse brigade (the backbone of the Tories) that a socially conservative, paternalistic government isn’t the way forward are on a hiding to nothing. Real change isn’t coming through the three main parties and their cosy consensus. Right now any real change is going to come from outside of Parliament.

So this it it – you are either Libertarian, or you tacitly support the Statist status quo. If you are Nu Labour, or a Liberal Democrat, or a Tory then you support the State. Which is fine; it is your democratic right. But if you are a Tory, please don’t pretend you are helping the Libertarian cause. You are propping up part of the problem, not being part of the solution.

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Richard Wright

RIP Richard Wright, one of the the founding members of one of the most important - and best - bands of all time.

He may not have been one of the key song writers of the band, and his talent was arguably shadowed by the wonderful musical and lyrical abilities of David Gilmour and Roger Waters. But he was key to the Pink Floyd sound, and his work helped to create much of the atmosphere on Pink Floyd songs. Without him, they would not have been the same wonderful band that they were at their peak. And his death, as well as being a tragedy for his family and friends, sadly ends any hope that the mighty Pink Floyd might ever play together again.

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Labour MPs are revolting

No, really, they are.

When the British Political history books of the future are written, I wonder whether they will record this weekend as the real start of the removal of Gordon Brown from power. I wonder whether the chapters that will be entitled "Gordon Brown: The Aberration" or "The Failure of Gordon Brown" (or, if I write a political history, "Gordon Brown The Total Fucking Cock") will talk in hushed tones in their final paragraphs about the half-baked machinations and unconvincing plotting of this weekend. Since this plot isn't reaching the Cabinet level it needs to reach, with the Boy Blunder pledging support for Bottler Brown, I doubt this is truly the end game; that doesn't stop me from really, really hoping it is.

It is often said that you can know the calibre of a man by his enemies. If that is the case, the roll call of complete non-entities who have publically called for the head of Gordon Brown are a further indicator of just how shite Gordon Brown is. Thatcher was finally brought down by Geoffrey Howe and Michael Heseltine. Blair was brought down by the machinations of his (then) respected (by some) Chancellor. Hell, John Major even forced his own enemies into the battleground, and managed to beat them. Gordon Brown is in danger of his political career ended by the dregs of the Blairite movement. The only real Labour heavyweight (pun intended) who has publically tried to sink Brown is Charlie the Safety Elephant, Nu Labour's answer to Karl Stromberg. If you are in danger of being offed by the most bitter politician since Edward Heath shuffled onto the Tory bachbenches, you really are a total failure.

Which is another reason why I hope, I really hope that this is the beginning of the end for Gordon. What greater epitaph could their be for worst Prime Minister in living memory that being brought down by the least important members of your former nemesis's cadre? Brown forced Blair out of office, I hope his followers manage to do the same for Brown.

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Friday, September 12, 2008

Sergei Lavrov: Speaking for the People of Britain

From The Telegraph website - Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov to David Miliband:

One unconfirmed report suggested that Mr Lavrov said: "Who are you to f------ lecture me?"
Oh, to be the Russian Foreign Minister and be able to subject David Miliband to abuse when you know he is listening. Pretty much the right wing blogger's dream. And most of the population must now want to be wanting to say to not just David Miliband but the whole of the patronising Nu Labour elite "who are you to fucking lecture me?"

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Easiest/Worst/Dullest Job In UK Politics (delete as applicable)

With Calamity Clegg seriously making some Liberal Democrats wondering why on earth they ditched the old fool or didn't vote for the ghastly twat, I'm tempted to wonder who* would want to become the Liberal Democrat leader.

See, if you became the Tory leader at the moment, you would pretty much be guaranteed the keys to Number 10 Downing Street at the next election. If you successfully challenged Gordon Brown at the moment, you would at least be PM until the next election. Not great, but you will still get a stint as PM. However, being Liberal Democrat leader allows you to do nothing more than lead the party that exists for no other reason that for those who can't make up their minds between the damn near identical Tories and Nu Labour.

Likewise, there is a certain drama to be Labour or Tory leader. You get the chance (IDS excluded) of fighting elections and/or making a real impact. And most tenures as a leader of one of the main two parties takes on a slightly Shakesperian quality as they come to an end, with former allies turning on their leader in a bout of undignified, self-destructive yet faintly satisfying regicide. As Liberal Democrat elections, you are allowed to participate in elections rather like the wheezy fat kid is allowed to participate in playground games - because the big kids have to let you play. You can achieve precisely fuck all. And you can cling to the position until you either get utterly bored of it, or the party realises that you drink about the same as Oliver Reed, or the party realises you appear to have died several years ago.

And there isn't any real joy to be gained in leading the members of your party. The Liberal Democrats are an uneasy union of tofu-eating enviromentalists, indecisive middle class lefties and beared, sweaty geography teachers. Leading them will never be easy - it is managing a selection of fragile, flaccid egos.

All of the above really does make me wonder why anyone would want to lead the Liberal Democrats. But I guess that it is kind of an easy job. You know you are never going to be Prime Minister, and therefore never have to have workable policies. You know you can go into any General Election, and no matter what you do you will still come third. In a lot of jobs, the pressure comes from striving to succeed. As Leader of the Liberal Democrats, you are relieved of that pressure because failure is pretty much an essential of the job.

Given that Nick Clegg has not only failed to differentiate himself from Cameron and Brown but also Ming the Merciful, there will be some Liberal Democrats who will be calling for his head. But I ask those Liberal Democrats to leave poor Cleggy alone. Yes, he's a bit shit. But in that respect he is perfect for your party. He is a political non-entity, unable to go anywhere. And as such, he is pretty much the personification of the Liberal Democrats.

*Except for Huhne, who seems to covet the Liberal Democrat leadership like it was a nubile young lady or a bar of gold rather than something that you would normally see floating in a toilet bowl.

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British Sea Power - Waving Flags

They didn't win the Mercury Music Prize - some dour band I once listened to in the early part of this decade did. But for me the prize should have gone to British Sea Power - for me, one of the best Indie bands not just of the here and now, but also of all time.

"Waving Flags" - enjoy.

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Inequality: Live With It

The Labour Party seems to be fighting back using the politics and rhetoric of class conflict. Which is hardly surprising - we have the rump end of a once popular and moderate Labour government fighting desperately, fitfully and ineffectually for survival. They will latch onto the ideology which they feel most comfortable with - basic, class based socialism.

What I does still surprise - and, if I am honest, still disappoints - me is that the Tories seem to be determined to paint themselves as the party of equality, as Theresa May seems determined to steal Harriet Harman's rhetoric:
"I also find it surprising that she should raise issues of social equality when she's part of government that has been in power for over 11 years, presiding over a 900,000 growth in the number of people living in severe poverty and over a country that has the lowest social mobility in the developed world... Labour has made poverty more entrenched and returning to the class warfare rhetoric of 20 years ago is neither helpful nor realistic."
One of the main reasons why I departed from the Tories was Cameron's embracing of Toynbee-esque visions of equality within society, and I maintain that some inequality within society isn't a bad thing. It may not be a great thing, either. But here's the rub - inequality is a natural aspect of a free society. Don't get me wrong; no-one should be discriminated against based in race, gender, sexual inclination etc and no-one should be subjected to true poverty. But the reality is that there will be inequality because people have different skills, different abilities, different desires and different jobs.

The problem is that whenever there is any debate about inequality, it quickly turns shrill. There will always be those who wade into any debate about inequality screaming "it isn't fair! I want to be rich too!" The tone of their contributions tends to be like a kid screaming indignantly in a toy shop, wanting something that is clearly out of their grasp and something that they are clearly never going to get. But those who advocate increasing equality through methods such as redistributing wealth miss two harsh, but fundamental truths.

Firstly, people can become rich. Pretty much anyone can become rich. However, the way to do that for the majority of people is through hard work an compromise. I know, I know I am never going to be massively wealthy. And you know what? That's fine. I'm not willing to work every hour God sends and there are somethings I would never compromise on, even for cash. And that's my choice. Which is the point. Other people can - and do - chose to put in the hard work that is required to become wealthy. And good luck to them. However, many people do not want to put in the hard work and would rather wealth was presented to them on a plate - often using the depressing and farcical notion that they deserve it, just through existing as a member of the human race.

Secondly, if you "level the playing field" or whatever else you might call redistributing welath from the deserving to the shrill, you won't incentivise people to become wealthy. You won't incentivise people to put in the hard work and long hours needed to be successful. Inequality motivates some within society to shout about how unfair life is. It motivates others to make the best for themselves and their families within that *unjust* society.

I concede that some people are held back by their backgrounds, and it is not as easy for someone from a poor background to hit the dizzy heights of wealth and success as it is for someone from a priviliged background. It is still possible, but much more difficult. Which is why I have some sympathy for those who talk about maximising equality of opportunity. But equality of outcome is absolutely alien to me, and should be absolutely alien and unnatural to any liberal, capitalist society.

I can see why people want to make life fairer for all. But the simple fact is that life isn't fair. If you allow for some inequality, then life will allow life to be more pleasant for some people that for others. However, if you want follow the rhetoric of Harman et al to the logical extreme, and try to eliminate all inequality in society, then all you end up with is life being equally unpleasant for all.

It sounds harsh, and it will sound brutal to some, but the conclusion of this debate is always the same: Life is unfair. Get over it. And get on with it.

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Sarah Palin and the Media Limelight

It now appears that Sarah Palin, the newbie politician who has somehow wound up on the Republican ticket as Vice President, is now not only more popular that John McCain but is getting more popular than Barack Obama. Which is not bad going for a person who just weeks ago was a complete non-entity.

The question that screams out at me, though, is "why?" Why is there do much focus on Palin? Yes, she is photogenic (relative to the likes of McCain, most people are) and yes, she can make a half decent speech. But she has less experience that Obama, her political ideals are similar to those of the utterly reviled George W Bush. Reviewing her CV and politicial positions, she should be about as popular as a bout of explosive dysentry. Yet she is the darling of the US media. She is being treated like the Second Coming of... well, of Barack Obama.

So why all this attention? Well, the Palin story is an interesting story. Plucked from obscurity, pushed into the national limelight - it makes for damn good copy. But the reason why the Palin star is shining so brightly at the moment is also because, well, her story is new. And it is newer than the Obama story; that story is now a little bit old and tattered around the ages. This shows why politicians who were once media darlings are now languishing in the shadows or finding themselves being eclipsed by brighter, younger political types.

Think about Hillary Clinton. At the beginning of the decade, the story that the First Lady might become President was dynamite. It was exciting; more importantly, it was new. 8 years later, all the novelty has gone from that narrative. It is about as new and exciting as a Discman. And one of the reasons why she failed to win the Democratic nomination - ignoring her increasingly shrill and demented public image - was that her story was now less exciting that the Obama story. The former First Lady becoming President was old news; the charismatic, young black Senator fighting an underdog campaign to become president was far more novel.

Likewise, the reason why McCain was (until recently) languishing behind Obama in the polls was because his story is old hat now. Yes, McCain's history is simultaneously striking, heart-breaking and interesting - and he has achieved a lot more in his (albeit much longer) life than Obama. But we've been hearing stories about McCain since 1999/2000 (his first bid for the Presidency) - and there are only so many times that those stories can be rehashed. When you have the newer story of the charismatic, Kennedy-esque black Senator to write up, well, that story will always get the nod over the endlessly told McCain biography.

Which is why McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as Vice-Presidential candidate is a genius piece of media manipulation. She has removed the focus from Obama by having a newer story that the Obama tale. Obama's "journey" has now reached saturation point in the media. Palin is a breath of fresh air that the media is latching onto.

Now, you can shout against this mindset - Lord alone knows I want to, but that is something for a different post - but the simple fact is that the media is focussed on the newest story. At the moment, Palin is that story and Obama is suffering as a result.

Of course, this election is far from over and it is more than possible that Obama could still grab a sizable win. However, that isn't going to happen if he lingers on simply being Barack Obama. That is old news now. Likewise, he isn't going to turn it round by talking about pigs in lipstick. He needs a real, eye-catching headline grabbing moment to turn the tables and take the shine off Sarah Palin. He is more than capable of doing this if he realises that this is what he has to do.

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The Cabinet - UK Tour '08!

I know a fair bit about the West Midlands. In fact, I used to live there. So trust me when I say there is very little to achieve by going there. Unless you want to get wasted on special offer Stella in a dubious theme pub.

And whilst it is tempting to picture David Miliband vomiting in a pub urinal, clutching a frayed leaflet that says "Miliband for Leader '08", I rather suspect that the purpose of the Cabinet's trip northwards was not a drinking binge. But it does rather beg the question what on earth was it for?

It certainly isn't going to help with the daunting, almost overwhelming, problems Britain is facing today. In fact, I think the words of George Osborne are spot on:

"The cabinet taking a day trip out of London is not going to solve Britain's economic problems. What will solve Britain's economic problems is clear and united leadership and we are not getting that from a government that is fighting itself."
So let's get this straight from the get go - this little jaunt by the Cabinet has nothing to do with policy. It is a grubby attempt to chase popularity. You can almost imagine the focus group, set up to imagine ways in which the government can reconnect with the people, coming up with this idea to show just how in touch the Cabinet is.

Of course, the problem with this idea is it just doesn't work. You could walk out onto the street right now and ask them whether they care where the Cabinet meetings are held. The vast majority will not care - and those that do probably don't care that much where the meetings are held. It doesn't matter whether they are held in public in Leicester Square or behind a ring of steel in the Downing Street bunker. Because the output of those meetings - the actual policies developed in Cabinet - are either non-existent or absolute rubbish.

Fundamentally, people don't really care whether the government is in touch with them. Does anyone really think that popular leaders - the Roosevelts, the Reagans, the Thatchers - are really in touch with the general public? Of course not! But those leaders are popular because they make (sometimes difficult) decisions that help people. The single greatest failing of the Brown government is that paralysis has descended and the Cabinet are completely unable to do anything that might actually make the situation better.

They can hold their meetings on fucking Mars for all I care - given the value of those meetings, the arid, airless landscape of a dead desert planet would probably be a good venue for the Cabinet to head to.

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Monday, September 08, 2008

The Futureheads - Decent Days and Nights

This song has been going through my head. All day.

Still, could be worse. On Friday it was bastard "Bat of Hell" by bastard Meatloaf. The Futureheads' lead singer might look like refugees from the 1990's movie ID, but at least they aren't as, well, fat as Meatloaf...

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Sarah Palin, Commander in Chief

The Economist on Sarah Palin:

"Inexperienced and Bush-level incurious. She has no record of interest in foreign policy, let alone expertise. She once told an Alaskan magazine: “I’ve been so focused on state government; I haven’t really focused much on the war in Iraq.” She obtained an American passport only last summer to visit Alaskan troops in Germany and Kuwait. This not only blunts Mr McCain’s most powerful criticism of Mr Obama. It also raises serious questions about the way he makes decisions."
Now the inital excitement about Sarah Palin's selection by McCain has died down, we can take a more objective look at what she represents. And it isn't good. Forget her gender, forget the fact that her daughter is pregnant. Look instead at the candidate. This inexperienced governor from a highly atypical US state whose views on the nation and the world make George W Bush's look expansive could end up just a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Yes, she is photogenic. Yes, she can make a rousing speech in a room full of friends. If she wasn't able to do either of these two things, then she would still be a nobody governor from a nowhere state. But the role she is running to shadow requires a great deal more that just those two things. Her lack of experience could be spun so she is presented as the Washington outsider; that spin is blunted when you realise that, ideologically speaking, she is very similar to the incumbent President. Change will only come to America if the candidates concerned actually want change. If you put Bush Jr and Palin next to each other, the only real differences are cosmetic - she looks a lot less dumb than him. Ideologically, they stand shoulder to shoulder.

Much has already been made in this election of the similarities between real life and The West Wing: Barack Obama as Matt Santos, John McCain as Arnold Vinick; you could even cast Joe Biden as Leo McGarry. But Palin's sudden elevation to the national political stage reminds me more of another US political series - the far inferior Commander In Chief. In that, a typical, right wing Republican President puts a photogenic, maverick independent female on his ticket. He dies in office, and that Vice-President becomes President. It is tempting to point out the similarities between the premise of the show and the situation for the Republicans. The truth is that McCain is far closer to being the maverick independent, whilst Palin is the dyed in the wool, carbon copy Bush era Republican. If McCain is elected, and then shuffles off this mortal coil, America and the world will not thank him for his choice of Vice-President when they realise she is the same as what has gone before.

McCain has done himself, and his campaign, few favours with his selection of Vice-President.

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Sunday, September 07, 2008

Back 'im or sack 'im

It really comes to something when the Leader of the Opposition has to call from a Prime Minister to be backed or sacked by his own Cabinet.

David Cameron:
"So I say to the Labour Party, the foreign secretary and everyone included - make up your mind - back the guy or sack the guy."
Of course, we all know the truth. Best case scenario for Cameron is that Brown stays in office. Because the longer Brown is in office for, the greater Cameron's majority will be when the voters finally get a say. But not even Cameron quite has the gall to say "back him because whilst it may shaft the voters in the short term, in the long term it is going to be good for me and my ego."

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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Great Debate Moments

Yep, as the US election drags on, let's take a look at one of the most entertaining parts of the arena we are about to move into - the debates. And savour this moment, where the utterly incompetent Dan Quayle is nearly rendered speechless by his opponent simply because his opponent won't stand for Quayle's awful hyperbole...

Friday, September 05, 2008

Work 'Til You Die

David Blunkett wants old people to work for as long as they can:

"My presumption is this. That all of us, every one of us who is capable of doing so, should aspire to continue with some meaningful activity to the point of our incapacity overtaking us."
Just one small question springs to my mind - what meaningful activity is David Blunkett currently taking part in? It is a complete mystery to me - as far as I can see, the former Home Secretary (a man who is far from old himself) has not been involved in any meaningful activity since... well, since... actually, has he ever done anything meaningful? I'd be all for someone like the later Mother Teresa - someone who worked up until their final days - expressing this opinion. For David Blunkett - a poisonous piss midget of a man who gives the human race a bad name - to express this opinion when he does nothing other than sponge off the tax payer jars a little. In fact, it jars rather a lot. And as a result I can't help but note that David Blunkett is a hypocritical fucktard of the highest order.

Of course, a Nu Labour politician being hypocritical is nothing new. Hypocrisy is their mission statement. But every now and again, like with this, one of the Nu Labour overlords shows just how hypocritical they are, and how their detachment from reality is now only really bested by a communist dictator at the very height of a personality cult. Blunkett's comments offer further proof that we are ruled by rancid cocks who don't deserve the right to pontificate in public and get their comments reported by the national media. Blunkett et al shouldn't expect us to work as much as we possibly can; rather they should retire from sponging off the public purse just so we don't have to work until we drop dead to pay them for doing precisely fuck all of any worth.

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Thursday, September 04, 2008

Getting on with the job

Ladies, Gentlemen, we have a new euphemism. Following on from 'the Prime Minister expressed his full support for me we now have "I'm getting on with the job." This is a good example from the soon to be former Met Chief Sir Ian Blair:

'..."As Mark Twain said after reading an account of his own death in the New York Journal 'The report of my death is an exaggeration'. Same here. I have a job to do. I'm getting on with it and will continue to do so."'
And one from the man who seems to use it the most, Prime Minister Gordon Brown:

'...Challenged by David Cameron, the Conservative leader, to call a general election after the loss of Glasgow East to the Scottish National Party, Mr Brown said he was "getting on with the job".'
There is even a example from the world of sport: check out this headline.

When someone says they are getting on with the job, they mean they are sticking their heads in the sand and trying to hide from the inevitable. Or at least, that's what I hope - after all, it would be just great if both Ian Blair and Gordon Brown could finally be consigned to the dustbin of history...

This post was researched, and pretty much completely written by the Moai. Which is why I am giving him credit for it. Well, some credit for it. In small writing. At the very bottom of the page. Nice, eh? I guess I am just that sort of giving person.

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Another Fight Is Coming

From Devil's Kitchen:

"...but I am finding it difficult to get really worked up about politics: the NuLabour government has the stench of death around it and we are just waiting for the whole tired edifice to topple over and finally give up the ghost."
I'd agree - it is clear beyond all reasonable doubt that Brown is a cunt, but he is also a cunt on his way out. And there are only so many times and different ways in which you can swear at someone, however evil and incompetent they may be, before it becomes a bit, well, samey. Dissing Brown is increasingly becoming like dissing John Major in 1996 - kicking a dead man on hs way to the grave.

DK goes on to say:

"And then we can get stuck into Cameron and his merry men..."
Quite. I've detected a a rise in the anger and spite of the left wing blogs, as they prepare for a lengthy period in opposition. But for anyone hoping that the Libertarian section of the blogosphere* to become silent in a miasma of contentment after the now seemingly inevitable rise of Cameron to power are whistling in the wind. Ultimately, for a Libertarian Cameron is part of the problem. He is definitely not the solution.

*I hate this word with a passion; quite how it passed into common parlance is beyond me. Although thinking about it, opart of the reason may have been people like me using it.

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Attack Ads of Old #3

Not all attack ads need to be that attacking. Take this one - a slightly incomprehensible Reagan effort that seems to compare communism with a bear. I studied communism, and whilst it had many flaws, it was never a bear. Unless they were talking about economics. In which case, why are they mixing their metaphors? If there is a metaphor. Because I am no longer sure whether there is a bear. If there is a bear.

I need a lie down.

Classic, Old School Petulance

Via Ian_QT, I see a wonderful display of childish behaviour that you might associate more with Senior Labour party politicians than people scoring well in a rival blogger’s poll. Yep, Tim Ireland is protesting his inclusion in Iain Dale’s Top 100 list of left of centre blogs. If I was him, I’d be quite chuffed that I had won support from the readers of a blog that is a committed, personal foe. Then again, I’m not Tim Ireland. Thank fuck.

The post is worth reading, as it is the sort of thing that an angry accountant might send to a bank manager over a missing couple of quid of interest payments. My favourite moment is when Tim states:

“What are my options?”
How about you shut up and ignore it?

As an aside, I noticed that I managed to make it into one of Iain Dale’s list myself. At Number 97. Still, I’m not complaining. It is always a pleasant surprise when I realise that people actually read this blog, and it is even more of a pleasant surprise to find that people have taken the time to vote for it. So, thanks to anyone who did.

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Monday, September 01, 2008

Cassandra Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer

So, in a rare burst of temporary honesty, our Chancellor has noted what is absolutely fucking obvious to everyone else not encased in the blinding forcefield that is the Westminster Village; namely, that the economy is utterly fucked. Well done Darling, you skunk faced cunt bag, you have managed to tell the truth. Which is just smashing. It comes to something when we have to praise politicians for telling the truth.

But what, precisely, are Nu Labour going to do about the the current economic freefall? It is all very well having the Chancellor sounding off like Jim Jones just before the kool-aid gets poured, but it means nothing if there is no plan to actually help to remedy the situation. So what the ruddy fuck are Nu Labour going to do about it?

Oh, they're going to have an internal row about it. Just smashing. And ideas like making Ed fucking Balls, a man with all the charm and personality of a particularly irate spree killer, Chancellor of the Exchequer are not so much running salt in the wounds of the economy, but rather rubbing hydrochloric acid into the weeping economic sores.

Nu Labour fiddle, the economy burns.

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The Queen Takes Cocaine

But, of course, she doesn't take cocaine. It is actually a comment by an actor who played the Queen. But fucking hell, let's not let a good headline get in the way of the actual story. The likes of The Daily Star certainly aren't.

However, how does this actually constitute a story? An actor takes cocaine? Someone in media takes cocaine? How many times a day do you think this story is repeated over and over again, just with a different person sticking Uncle Charlie up their nose? People take drugs. They always have done. They always will do. Why this interest in people snorting a bit of coke?

I know that many people think that if you take drugs, you are instantly on a downward spiral towards addiction, prostitution and death. Except that is blatantly absolute bollocks. Helen Mirren actually shows that! Look at her. A successful, Oscar winning actress. She's not a junkie scumbag; she actually just used drugs a bit and gave up. And just look at the reason why she gave up:
“I loved coke – never a lot, just a little bit at parties. But what ended it for me was when they caught Klaus Barbie, the Butcher of Lyon, in the early 80s... He was hiding in South America and living the life of a cocaine baron. Then I saw how my little sniff of cocaine had an absolute direct route to this f*****g horrible man in South America."
Right, so let's be very clear on this - Mirren did not give up drugs because she thought that she was an addict or for any of the other reasons that the media likes to associate with the *evils* of drug taking. In fact, she gave up because of the ethical issues of coke funding a evil man. But we don't really see that sort of rhetoric in the media; oh no. It is all the talk about how drugs = addiction, and then screaming about any celebrities who may have taken drugs hysterically.

But, I hear you say, drugs are illegal. They are bad. The laws say so. Which is true. Drugs are illegal. But thousands of people are breaking the drug laws every week. Just as thousands are committing other acts that the law says are wrong. Like, say, speeding in a car. Speeding is illegal, thousands of people do it. Drug taking is illegal, thousands of people do it.

Now you could go on to argue that the media is right to carp on about drugs rather than speeding, because the consequences of drug abuse are far worse than speeding. I'd counter that by saying that overdosing and drug related crime can have just as devastating consequences as a massive car accident caused by someone speeding. Neither course of action is without potential problems, which is why the government feels the need to legislate on both of them. But this media focus on drug use is hysterical and banal.

Particularly when you focus on something else that Mirren said in her interview - and something that was not reported by the likes of The Daily Star:
"I was [date-raped], yes. A couple of times. Not with excessive violence, or being hit, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will."
So there you have it; the focus of the media is on whether consenting adults take drugs. The topic of date rape should be swept under the carpet or mentioned as an aside, once the drugs issue has been dealt with in a fuck of a lot of detail.

Whenever I think about how fucked our country is, I tend to lay the blame at the door of the government. And I stand by that - they are largely responsible. But the skewed, almost insane priorities of the media, should take some of the blame as well.

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