An Alternative Spiderman 3

Right, I am on holiday this week. And amongst the many ways in which I'll be celebrating not having to attend work this week, one is geeking out. So be warned, this is a geek post. It represents a level of geekiness probably more associated with those on the autism spectrum. So if you come to this blog for politics based swearing, then this post won't be for you. However, if you are a geek or if you like the Spiderman film series, read on.

I was disappointed by Spiderman 3. Sure, it looked good, but it had all the soul of Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning and appeared to have been scripted by a hyper-active seven year old with a crayon. And as a result, my (fevered, slightly demented) brain came up with an alternative. So here is my version of Spiderman 3 - a plot synopsis by a hyper-active 29 year old with a crayon. Let me know what you think in the comments section. Or not. I am easy either way...

The film begins with life going well for Peter Parker – he is considering proposing to MJ, his studies are going very well, and the City is finally accepting Spiderman. The same can not be said for Harry Osborn. He wishes to hunt down Peter and wreak his revenge. He employs a disgraced, ex-army weapons expert called Jason Philip Macendale, Jr, to help him make sense of his father’s weapons.

Peter attends one of Dr Connor’s lectures, where Connor goes off spec and has a free discussion about life in space. At this point, a tiny meteor from space lands in Central Park, unnoticed. However a black substance leaks from the meteor – the Symbiote – and takes over a nearby tree. Peter then goes into the Bugle offices, only to find that his role has been half given to a flash, arrogant new photographer called Eddie Brock. Peter is angered by this, but can do nothing about it. His day gets worse when Osborn – now in the guise of the Green Goblin – attacks him. They fight across the city, with the demented Goblin apparently striking a mortal blow against Parker. The Goblin dumps Parker in Central Park, where the Symbiote finds him and saves him. He goes home, where he (much to the chagrin of MJ) gorges himself and then falls asleep. The next day, Harry visits MJ to commiserate her on the death of Peter. She is confused, and points out that Peter is still alive. However Peter is nowhere to be seen – he is out in New York, testing his new Symbiote costume in the city.

Spiderman continues to serve the city, but takes increasing risks – leading to further condemnation from the Bugle. As Parker, he is getting more arrogant, more angry, and more flirtatious. MJ confides in Aunt May, who agrees to talk to Peter. Peter dismisses her, saying he is finally becoming himself. He is also attached by the Goblin again, but this time is able to soundly beat the Goblin. Osborn is enraged, and takes some advice from Macendale. Macendale tells him to hit Parker where it hurts. Since Osborn loves MJ, he elects not to hurt her. Instead he decides to go after Aunt May.

Aunt May is kidnapped by the Goblin and her house is destroyed. Spiderman hunts down the Goblin. He saves Aunt May and embarks on a bitter fight with the Goblin. He beats Harry to a pulp, and leaves him in his apartment with a pumpkin bomb. The bomb explodes, and Spiderman assumes that Harry has been killed. He is unaware that Brock has photographed the event – and that Macendale has saved his employer, albeit with Osborn now in a coma.

The next day, Peter feels guilty about the death of Osborn and gives some of the Symbiote to Connors to study. He is horrified by the front page of the Bugle, which links Spiderman with the explosion at the Osborn place, and vows to get Brock. He doctors Brock’s photos, so they look like fakes. He then presents his doctored photos to the staff at the Bugle, and Brock is sacked. What Peter is unaware of is that Brock, a devout Catholic, was supporting his young family and under a lot of pressure from his wife. She throws him out of their home, and he takes refuge in a church.

MJ, horrified by Spiderman’s apparent murder of Osborn, searches through Peter’s stuff and finds proof that he doctored photos to discredit Brock. She confronts him, and he argues with her, pushing her over. She storms out, and then Peter takes a call from Connors. Connors explains that the Symbiote is also a parasite – it gets into the Host’s mind, fills them with adrenaline, boosting their confidence, before consuming them. It also seems to react badly to loud noises. Peter tries to pull the Symbiote off him, but to no avail. Then he hears the chiming of a nearby church bell. He goes to the bell tower, where the deafening noise allows him to wrench the Symbiote from his body. He flees the church, then collapses at home. The Symbiote finds Brock sleeping in the Church, and possesses him.

The next day, Peter tries to contact MJ but to no avail. He goes to Brock’s house to apologise, only to learn that Brock is missing. He goes to the Church where Brock prayed, and realises that Brock may have been possessed by the Symbiote. The Brock/Symbiote attacks Parker, and he only just escapes with his life when Brock controls the Symbiote. The rage in Brock and the Symbiote grows until the Symbiote completely controls Brock’s mind and gives Brock the answer he requires to how to hurt Parker – MJ.

Desperately worn out, Peter rests at home, only to learn on the news that MJ’s parents’ house has been attacked by the Symbiote. He goes there as Spiderman, and sees a challenge for him to face the Brock/Symbiote. The challenge is signed Venom. He realises Brock and MJ will be in the Church. Before he goes there, he visits Harry to try to get help from his enemy to assist the woman they both love. He makes Macendale wake Harry from his chemical coma so Macendale can tell him what is happening to MJ. He then goes off to the Church. Macendale does explain to Osborn what is happening, and gives him a stark choice. He can be pumped up with his father’s drugs and almost certainly die with 24 hours but have superpowers, or he can live out the rest of his days as an invalid. As Harry loves MJ, he goes for the former option.

Venom taunts MJ, talking about how much it will hurt Parker. MJ tries to reason with it, but Venom is utterly consumed by rage. Spiderman arrives, and Venom goes to kill him. MJ takes this opportunity to escape, but is confronted by Harry/the Goblin.

Spiderman finds the church bell is now covered with the Symbiote. The Symbiote leaves the bell and forms Venom. It fights with Spiderman, and badly hurts him. In the meantime, Harry offers to fly MJ away, proposing his undying love to her. She refuses, saying that she loves Peter – and points out that if he truly loves her, he will go to protect her – and her love – Venom. Harry realises she is correct, and goes off to challenge Venom.

Spiderman and the Goblin fight Venom, but he is too strong for them. Spiderman is half-dead by this point, having been thrown into walls and half strangled. The Goblin and Spiderman realise that the only way they will defeat Venom is by trying to separate Brock and the Symbiote. Spiderman distracts Venom for a moment by confessing to doctoring the photos, and the Goblin pins Venom to the wall with his Glider. The Goblin tries to tear the Symbiote off Brock, but it does not work. Realising they will never defeat Venom without sacrifice, Harry decides to detonate his Pumpkin bombs and kill both Venom and himself. Spiderman initially refuses, but Harry tells him he is dying anyway and that he needs to save MJ. Spiderman takes MJ away, and Harry detonates the bombs – destroying himself, Venom and the Church.

MJ realises that Peter has been badly injured but can’t seek medical help whilst he is in costume. She wrenches off his costume, covers him with her coat, and gets him to a paramedic just as he collapses.

The next day, the police visit Harry’s residence and tell Macendale – who is pretending to be a relative – that Harry has died. Macendale tours the Osborn Armoury, grinning madly, realising that all these weapons are now his…

MJ visits Peter in hospital, and finds Aunt May is already there. Aunt May vanishes back home, leaving Peter and MJ together. Peter apologies for everything he has done, and MJ forgives him, as she knows the Symbiote was controlling him. As the film ends, they embrace.