Gordon Brown: THE Failure

See, the thing about Gordon Brown is he's a failure. And that is not just for sweary, right wing bloggers. When you think about it, he has pretty much failed everyone. Those who believe in social justice (whatever that might be) aren't gaining from Gordon. Those who thought he would rebuild the tired, post-Blair Labour party are disappointed. Those who thought he might be left wing are left feeling down, and those who felt that he would be an electoral asset must have their head in their hands right about now. Hell, Gordon should look in the mirror each and every morning and shake his head, and mutter to himself "you've really fucked up, you have."

In fact, Gordon Brown isn't so much a failure, but rather the failure. He is definite article when it comes to failure. He is the absolute prime example of failure. It wouldn't surprise me if future dictionaries simply had a picture of Gordo as their definition of the word failure*. Mind you, they probably won't. Having the gormless, grey visage of Gordon Brown gurning out from the dictionary page at you isn't going to sell a whole host of copies.

Mind you, the message seems to be sinking in for Gordon, at least on some levels:

"I always want to do better, and I will do better"

Yeah, it is a pretty muted acknowledgment that Gordon's first year in Number 10 haven't gone that well for anyone, including the nation. It is a far cry from Gordon actually admitting that he is failure. But it is at least a new way for Gordon to behave now he is Prime Minister. Humility could be the way forward. Something has to be, because his strategies to date haven't gone that well. The arrogance, the sneering, the preening, the angry rages, the deep depressions, the pathetic attempts to relax whilst on holiday - all these haven't worked that well for the grim git.

Then again, this strategy won't work either. And this is not just for Gordon; it should be a rule of thumb for any Prime Minister. The "I'm sorry, I'll try harder" doesn't work for a wayward eight year old who has got a bad school report - it sure as fuck ain't going to work for someone who is meant to be an international statesman leading a country. Yes, Gordon should have done better - but why wasn't he doing better from the outset? Why has this only occurred to him now? The excuse of "well, it could have gone better" might work for someone who has just played a bad round of golf or something - for an international leader, it is as unforgivable as it is patronising.

The concept of dignity is alien to any politician, and the Nu Labourites are perhaps the best proof of this. But if Gordon wants to escape into the history books with even a shred of pride left, then he should go now. But that is the problem with Gordon. He is such a failure that he can't even get resigning right.