The Easiest/Worst/Dullest Job In UK Politics (delete as applicable)

With Calamity Clegg seriously making some Liberal Democrats wondering why on earth they ditched the old fool or didn't vote for the ghastly twat, I'm tempted to wonder who* would want to become the Liberal Democrat leader.

See, if you became the Tory leader at the moment, you would pretty much be guaranteed the keys to Number 10 Downing Street at the next election. If you successfully challenged Gordon Brown at the moment, you would at least be PM until the next election. Not great, but you will still get a stint as PM. However, being Liberal Democrat leader allows you to do nothing more than lead the party that exists for no other reason that for those who can't make up their minds between the damn near identical Tories and Nu Labour.

Likewise, there is a certain drama to be Labour or Tory leader. You get the chance (IDS excluded) of fighting elections and/or making a real impact. And most tenures as a leader of one of the main two parties takes on a slightly Shakesperian quality as they come to an end, with former allies turning on their leader in a bout of undignified, self-destructive yet faintly satisfying regicide. As Liberal Democrat elections, you are allowed to participate in elections rather like the wheezy fat kid is allowed to participate in playground games - because the big kids have to let you play. You can achieve precisely fuck all. And you can cling to the position until you either get utterly bored of it, or the party realises that you drink about the same as Oliver Reed, or the party realises you appear to have died several years ago.

And there isn't any real joy to be gained in leading the members of your party. The Liberal Democrats are an uneasy union of tofu-eating enviromentalists, indecisive middle class lefties and beared, sweaty geography teachers. Leading them will never be easy - it is managing a selection of fragile, flaccid egos.

All of the above really does make me wonder why anyone would want to lead the Liberal Democrats. But I guess that it is kind of an easy job. You know you are never going to be Prime Minister, and therefore never have to have workable policies. You know you can go into any General Election, and no matter what you do you will still come third. In a lot of jobs, the pressure comes from striving to succeed. As Leader of the Liberal Democrats, you are relieved of that pressure because failure is pretty much an essential of the job.

Given that Nick Clegg has not only failed to differentiate himself from Cameron and Brown but also Ming the Merciful, there will be some Liberal Democrats who will be calling for his head. But I ask those Liberal Democrats to leave poor Cleggy alone. Yes, he's a bit shit. But in that respect he is perfect for your party. He is a political non-entity, unable to go anywhere. And as such, he is pretty much the personification of the Liberal Democrats.

*Except for Huhne, who seems to covet the Liberal Democrat leadership like it was a nubile young lady or a bar of gold rather than something that you would normally see floating in a toilet bowl.