Timing Your Strike Right

Now I understand why people feel the need to strike - it is an extreme, but sometimes effective, tactic in negotiations and conflicts between employee and employer. And I also understand how striking can be an effective publicity stunt - it brings attention to your cause, even if a lot of the attention is people shaking their heads and wondering why the hell you are bothering (which tends to be my default position with regards to strikes).

Like comedy, I suppose, the secret of great striking is timing. Which is why the Fire Service threatening to strike over Bonfire Night strikes me as an extremely dumb idea. Because, when you think about it for more than 2 consecutive seconds, this is clearly one of the nights when we need the Fire Service more than ever. It moves striking away from being a legitimate negotiation tactic and places it squarely in the negligence box. You're not going to get the best publicity for you cause if the end result of your strike is some kid getting his face burnt off in a Bonfire Night accident.

Still, given the striking union (lack of) intellect this hasn't appeared to occur to them:

FBU general secretary Matt Wrack said they had been left with no choice.

"The alternative is to allow London's firefighters to become doormats for their employers to walk on," he said.

Yeah... you've got no choice. You couldn't, say, strike on some of the other 360 plus days of the year now, could you? You dumb wanker.

Cameron and the Unions

Well said, young man:

Conservative leader David Cameron has told the BBC trade unions "scented weakness" in the government's response to Unite's row with British Airways.

He said Gordon Brown failed to back non-strikers, although Mr Brown said he wanted "negotiation" to take place.

Of course, this weakness when it comes to dealing with the unions and failing to support those who do not wish to strike is not unique to Gordon Brown. It is something that happens during the course of every Labour government, and was particularly pronounced the last time Labour led the country toward the shit-heap under Jim Callaghan. The unions are in ascendance again because there is a Labour government in power - and the Labour party, of course, is more reliant than ever on funding from their most reliable sugar daddies; those within the Trade Union movement.

But it isn't just Labour Prime Ministers who have been shown to be weak in the face of union action. The same has been true of Tory Prime Ministers as well. In many ways, Thatcher was the exception, rather than the rule, and her battle against the NUM - as controversial as it was - was only successful for the government because her government knew the confrontation was coming, and prepared themselves for it.

Unions can break governments - witness the demise of Heath's administration. And there is no reason for thinking that the unions won't challenge Cameron as soon as/if he is elected. But he should relish that challenge - he should use it as an opportunity to show that he has teeth. Whether or not he has the fight in him remains open to debate - after all, thus far his time as leader of the Tories has shown him to be a man of compromise rather than confrontation, of consensus rather than clashes. However, I think this fight is going to come to him, whether he likes it or not. And he needs to start preparing right now if he is going to show himself in a different light to Brown's cowed compliance against resurgent unions.

Royal Mail Wasters: Striking. Again.

Apparently, those crazy coves working for the Royal Mail are on strike again. Jesus. I hadn't noticed that the last strike had stopped. Mainly because there is no tangible difference in service between when the Royal Mail is working and when the workshy bastards are taking a day off.

Regular readers will know that I criticise the Royal Mail a lot, so maybe it is time to redress the balance. I have to say that their customer care line is very good. The people there listen to your problems, use both sympathy and empathy in the right way at the right time, and concede fault and apologise when appropriate. Compared to something like the BT Broadband helpline, which led to me be patronised by some sort of anal geek about the semantic difference between a landline phone and a hub phone before he refused to explain what had gone wrong in the first place, the Royal Mail helpline is frankly outstanding.

Unfortunately, one suspects, the reason why they are so good is because they get - owing to the actions of other workers within Royal Mail - a lot of practice in dealing with irate customers. It is one thing to offer good customer service in the event of something going wrong; it is a far more preferable situation to offer good customer service from the outset and not lead people to have to complain. Because that is the difference between BT Broadband and the Royal Mail - the former I have only had to call once in 6 months. Given the Royal Mail's inability to deliver a fucking parcel, calls to their helpline are a regular occurrence.

So strike away, people. Not for the first time I note that it makes bugger all difference to the levels of service you offer whether you actually turn up in the morning or not.

Royal Mail Wasters and Junk Mail

Regular readers will know that I am not a fan of the Royal Mail or their fucking strike. But it turns out that a BBC Have Your Say waster finds the silver lining to that strike:

I won't have any junk mail.

So says Marion Monahan of Bristol. Probably worth pointing out, Marion, that you won't get any mail during the strike, although I suspect that you don't get that much mail - or, indeed, that much interaction with just about anyone - anyway. But you might still get some junk mail through your letter box. Like the stuff that is hand-delivered.

Royal Mail Wasters: You are either with them or are "stupid"

The Communication Workers Union has described Royal Mail's decision to hire up to 30,000 temporary workers as "a stupid move".

Well, they would say that, wouldn't they? These are the people who are crippling their own organisation because it can't and therefore won't guarantee them jobs for life. Although it really is pot and kettle time when someone taking part in the Royal Mail strike starts calling someone else stupid.

"Technology is providing new ways of communicating," City minister Lord Myners told CWU general secretary Billy Hayes on the BBC's Andrew Marr show.

"People who can't use the mail next week, Billy, are going to find other ways of communicating.

"And you are placing your members' lives and jobs at risk if you don't get back to the negotiating table."

Not only that, but they are really going to fucking hate all those who have gone on strike. Those striking Royal Mail workers may yet strike themselves onto the dole queue.

Here's hopin'!

Guardian Questions on Royal Mail Wasters

The Guardian asks some topical questions:

But the postal workers have some public backing - almost 5,000 Facebook users have signed up to a group called I support the postal workers.

Do you? Or do you have more sympathy with Royal Mail? And whatever your views, how has the dispute affected you?

Let's take those questions one at a time.

No, I don't support any postal worker who has gone on strike. I do support those who have gone on working. If such people actually exist.

I do have more sympathy for Royal Mail - this will bury their already moribund business.

And this has affected me in two ways: I have had to wait up to several weeks to get first class letters and don't really get parcels delivered any more. Instead I have to pick them up from the delivery depot. The postman himself is perhaps the most prickly, lazy, self-important and arsey person it has ever been my misfortune to encounter. And that is saying something. I used to work in the recruitment industry, so have encountered more than my fair share of wankers in my time.

If I had the time, I'd form a Facebook Group myself. One called "Striking Royal Mail Postal Workers Are Total Fucking Cunts." And I'll bet you it would get more than 5,000 people signing up to it.

In the sort of twist of fate that makes me laugh out loud, I note that the attempts to have a national postal strike make be adversely affected by the localised industrial action of the employees of Royal Mail. Which - if it happens - would be pretty damned wonderful. A great example of the law of unintended consequences, and enough to make me believe just a little in karma.

Royal Mail Blues

Apparently the Royal Mail are considering a national strike. No, really, they actually are considering formalising their current approach of doing no work, rather than just pretending that they are actually doing something.

The potential strike is in response to possible redundancies that may result from the modernisation of the Royal Mail. According to Dave Ward, who holds the wonderfully Stalinist title of "deputy general secretary of the Communication Workers' Union":

"Modernisation is crucial to the future success of Royal Mail, but the implementation of change must be agreed and it must bring with it modern pay and conditions.

"Postal workers deserve to be rewarded for change. We want to see a new job security agreement which will help people through this time of change for the company … Modernisation should improve services not cut them."

Well, "modern pay and conditions" very easily could mean redundancy, in this day and age. I fail to see why the Royal Mail should be sheltered from the economic reality affecting the rest of the country. And as for "rewarded for change", why, precisely? Their reward for doing their job is surely the pay they get for it. If their job changes, then the workers need to think about whether they feel their remuneration reflects their changed circumstances. If it doesn't, then they can always find another job. Rather than trying to cripple their existing employer with unthinking demands for more pay.

I'll agree that job security is a nice idea. Unfortunately it doesn't really exist anywhere anymore. Again, there is no reason why the Royal Mail should be different from other organisations. Employers take on people to do a job. Unfortunately, should they change their structure/way of working, then they may need to lose some employees. It isn't ideal for those that lose jobs; yet it isn't realistic for organisations to keep people on when they have no work for them to do.

And the concept that modernisation shouldn't improve services rather than cut them is spot on as far as I am concerned. However, I'm prepared to entertain the idea that modernisation might involve cutting head-count in order to improve services. And that is still A-OK as far in my humble opinion.

Finally, maybe Deputy General Secretary Ward might want to use some empathy and consider why - after a summer where Royal Mail employees have devastated the already tatty reputation of that organisation and made mail deliveries even more of a joke than they have been before - those running the Royal Mail believe increased automation and employing fewer people might be the best way forward for them.

Sighing at Royal Mail Strikes

There are terrifying threats. Like the threat of nuclear war. Then there are the empty threats. Like swine 'flu, which is probably a pisser if you get it, but about as threatening as, well, a heavy cold. And then we have the completely pointless threats that resemble a child having a tantrum. Which is how I would assess the threat that the Royal Mail might strike. It would be scary if it wasn't so risible.

See, these days, the Royal Mail are shit. You don't get any delivery before early afternoon. On Saturdays, you aren't going to get any mail at all, even if there is some to be delivered. And Bank Holidays for the Royal Mail now take out two working days either side of the Bank Holiday - which means since they don't work Saturdays, you ain't getting any mail for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or the Tuesday around the Bank Holiday. Oh, and woe betide you if you happen to be expecting a parcel. If its dimensions happen to be too big for the postie's bag, then all you're getting delivered is a pre-prepared note telling you that you were out when they tried to deliver the parcel. Even if you were actually in. Then you're going to have to go to the Royal Mail depot to pick the parcel that someone else paid to have delivered to your home. Shit, isn't it?

And no, I don't live in the middle of nowhere. I live in a city. Where it should be fairly easy for the Royal Mail to do their jobs.

Of course, this post won't change the way the Royal Mail behaves, and it won't stop the strikes. But I just want it on record - I think that a Royal Mail strike* is about as scary as a pacifist monk in a fist fight. When you are as shit as Royal Mail operative, not working for a day is largely indistinguishable from actually working.

*Perhaps the biggest impact is LFAT not doing his first class posts.

Protesting? Nah, strike!

Some people will protest at the drop of a hat - over wars, over pay cuts, over pay rises that are deemed too low, and so on. Other people will only protest if they really have to. I'd class myself in the latter camp. I don't protest over everything, but when it comes to key issues like ID cards, I will be protesting like there is no tomorrow when the day finally comes when the government tries to make me carry one.

I'd also class our MPs in the latter category. They seem to meekly accept pretty much everything, but now have found a cause that they *may* actually decide to protest. vAnd what is that cause? Why, having parliamentary offices searched, of course:

The House of Commons Speaker is to make a statement over the decision to allow police to search the offices of shadow immigration minister Damian Green. Michael Martin is expected to face a protest unless he grants a full parliamentary debate on the issue.

Isn't it funny how people become more eager to protest when it is their peers who are under threat, and they think they might be next? I'm not saying our MPs are self-serving, of course not... that would be crazy.

What I would say to our elected representatives is that a protest may not be enough. If they really want to make their case, then they should just go on strike. Down tools; just stop working. Striking is the way forward for our MPs. They can protect their rights by simply refusing to work. And MPs not working on any more generally shitty laws, not continuing to nationalise the financial sector, and not pontificating about issues that they have no intention of dealing with, may have a net benefit for the population as well...