The Pope's Visit and the Real World

Liberal Conspiracy are asking a strident question:

Why is the government protecting the Pope from arrest?

The phrase "Awwwww, bless" springs to mind. But there's more:

The Pope’s proposed visit to the UK in September is costing the UK taxpayers as much as £12m for the four-day tour (not including the policing and security costs). How a man who claims to be the right-hand man of God could possibly need security is beyond me.

I'm not surprised it is beyond Adam Wilcox, the author of this remarkably naive article, since he seems to have no basic idea about the real world. I can think of at least one good reason why the Popey Pope needs security.

Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and human rights lawyer Geoffrey Robertson QC were planning to bring a private prosecution in relation to the Pope’s alleged cover-up of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church.

However, it seems the UK Government didn’t want the embarrassment of having the Pope arrested on our shores, so the new Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has moved to prevent the possibility of an arrest warrant being issued against the Pope during his state visit in September.

Yeah, um, it would be kind of embarrassing to have the fucking Pope arrested on his arrival in the UK. Particularly since he is the head of Church with a global reach and millions, if not billions, of worshippers following him (including people in this country). It would be the sort of awkward moment that most governments would wish to avoid. For diplomatic reasons, if nothing else.

Wilcox goes on to say:

The arrest of the Pope is morally the right thing to do, as this man is responsible for the systemic covering up of a worldwide network of child rape. But in summary, UK law is being changed so that a delusional, homophobic man who shelters rapists and sadists is not held to account when he visits the UK.

Well, I'm pretty sure that when this Pope's legacy is considered, it is going to focus on the whole child rape cover-ups and he's not going to go down as the best Pope we've ever had. But I also think that there is, at best, limited direct evidence to suggest that he should be arrested on arrival in the UK. And given said arrest would provoke a major diplomatic incident, I can kind of see why the government is reluctant to let any proposed arrest actually take place.

I want to make my own position quite clear here - I'd love to see that cunt Ratzinger wrestled to the ground Vic Mackey style and carted off to the local police station to be charged. I would whoop and holler as I watched it live on my TV. I'd love to see him imprisoned, and would hope that such an event would help to stigmatise and partially dismantle the utterly repugnant cult of which he remains the head. Unfortunately...

Unfortunately I live in the real world. Where the government is always going to put political and diplomatic goals ahead of what could be construed as moral ones. Sure, I would love there to be an actual ethical foreign policy. But as soon as any politician opens their big fat gobs and promises one, I know they're lying.

I'd like to see the Pope arrested. And Tony Blair. And George W Bush. Maybe Bill Clinton as well. Putin for sure. And let's throw Berlusconi into the mix for good measure. But given Duch - one of the genuine monsters of the last century - has only just been found guilty despite the fact that most of his crimes were committed before I was born, I'm not going to hold my breath over the conviction - or even the arrest - of any of the arseholes mentioned here.

Battering Berlusconi

Of course, I wouldn't want to condone any act of violence, but sometimes the implements used to commit acts of violence are eye-opening to say the least:

The PM, 73, suffered a broken nose, two broken teeth and a cut lip after being hit with a model of Milan cathedral following a rally in the city.

The emphasis is mine, because I cannot figure out why a model of Milan cathedral was used. I mean, you could argue that it was the first thing that came to hand, but it is a model of Milan cathedral. Presumably, even in Milan, these aren't lying around in the street on the off-chance that someone wants to lob one at Berlusconi. Which implies a level or premeditation - that the attacker thought about what he wanted to use to batter Berlusconi, and settled on a model cathedral. Rather than more traditional implements, such as a brick. It does beg the question of "why?"

Still, The Daily Mash has a far more pertinent question - namely, what are we going to throw at Brown?

When is an endorsement not in any way useful?

When it is from Silvio Berlusconi, as this wonderfully acidic piece of writing from The Guardian:

Tony Blair's bid for the presidency of Europe may have been struggling to make headway, but today it hit a rock when he won the endorsement he must secretly have been dreading.

In a letter published in an Italian newspaper, Silvio Berlusconi threw his less than colossal moral authority behind his old friend's candidacy. The man who promised to put Britain "at the heart of Europe", but chose to stay out of the euro and maintain border controls, had "all his papers in order to become the first president of the European council [of ministers] under the terms of the Lisbon treaty", the Italian prime minister declared.

It is this sort of endorsement that could really sink Blair's bid to become EU President. So I'm hoping that Berlusconi's backing damages Blair's bid badly, and I also am desperately hoping for another, even more damaging endorsement for Blair. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if George W Bush stepped forward, and said that he too wanted Blair to become EU President...

Camping and earthquakes

There are few politicians more capable of putting their feet straight in their mouths as Silvio Berlusconi, as he shows with his frankly staggering comments on the recent earthquake:

"They have medicaments. They have hot food. They have shelter for the night," he said.

"Of course, their current lodgings are a bit temporary. But they should see it like a weekend of camping."

Destroyed homes, refugees, thousands of injuries and hundreds of deaths - like a camping weekend?!? Jesus fucking Christ, what sort of camping weekends has Berlusconi been on?

Those crazy G20 leaders.

Having banged on about the G20 protestors for the best part of a week, this morning I thought I would turn my attention to those politicians who have provoked such mindless violence. But I couldn't find the words... and I still can't.

Fortunately, I found this photo on the BBC:

Remember, that is either the picture of a group of serious political leaders finding a solution to grim economic times, or a bunch of titwits hamming it up for the camera. I just can't work out which.

Insulting Berlusconi

The White House on Silvio Berlusconi:

The White House has apologised to Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi for a briefing describing him as a political "amateur" who is "hated by many".

Presumably, on hearing this news, Mr Berlusconi wandered over to Bush and said "takes one to know one."

The (Sometimes Flawed) Voice of Democracy Speaks!

Can’t keep a good man down. Or a bad one, come to think of it. Like Silvio Berlusconi, who today becomes Italy's PM for the third time. There is nothing quite like having control of the media and utterly incompetent opponents to help you return to power despite ongoing accusations of corruption now, is there?

I can’t really think of what the British equivalent of Berlusconi would be. I suppose for the Labour party, it might be Peter Hain suddenly emerging from the shadows and taking his perma-tan straight into Number 10. Or maybe Derek Conway – or even Jonathan Aitken – challenging Cameron to the Tory leadership, winning, and at the next election trouncing Brown. Except neither Hain, nor Conway, or Aitken have the control over the media that Berlusconi has. Or even the charisma. Mercifully, Britain doesn’t have an equivalent to Berlusconi. Yet.

Still, as Italy gets used to the 62nd government since World War II, I can’t help but feel that Berlusconi may not be the right politician for that nation. After all, he wasn’t two years ago, and he hasn't radically changed since then…