New Look Seven Deadly Sins

The seven deadly sins have been updated by the Catholic Church. I'd have loved to have been on that committee. I'd have made watching reality TV a deadly sin, obviously.

So what have they decided on as the new deadly sins?

Mgr Girotti (some random papal spokesman) said genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, polluting the environment, causing social injustice, causing poverty, becoming obscenely wealthy and taking drugs were all mortal sins.

What a stupid list. What a really, really stupid list. It is like the church went to Polly Toynbee, and asked for her wishlist of random hippy crap. And since when has the Catholic Church not been "obscenely wealthy?"

And what do you get if you break the rules above?

Eternal death.

Which sounds pretty fucking scary. Until you realise that all death is eternal. What's the alternative? Coming back as a zombie, shuffling around with lumps of flesh falling off you whilst muttering "brains"? Because if that is the alternative to eternal death, then I'm off to do some genetic modification through carrying out experiments on humans, to make a shit load of socially unjust cash that I will use to increase the misery in the world. And once I am done, I'm going to throw everything I own that is not biodegradable into the sea. Whilst high on drugs.