Alcohol Taxes

The Tories are planning to increase taxes. No, no, don't panic - they haven't gone completely insane. Only partially. Because they are going increase the taxes on booze. And to avoid the risk of upsetting too many people, they are only going to increase the taxes on alcopops and super strength drinks.

"A can of Carlsberg Special Brew or Tennents Super would cost 32p more and a three-litre bottle of Diamond White strong cider would be £1.25 more expensive under the plans."

And why?

"The Conservatives say the price rises would target younger drinkers, many who consume alcopops and super-strength beers and ciders to excess, while not hitting "the vast majority of law-abiding, responsible drinkers"."

That's a bit unfair. The taxes will also hit some adults as well. For example tramps. This proposal seems really hard on them as well. I mean, if you were a tramp wondering through life wearing crumpled, stained clothing and trying to live through this horrifically cold winter, Special Brew might be the only thing you have to look forward to. And the only thing that will be keeping you going. And now it is going to cost you an extra 32p. It may not sound like too much to some, but if you're a "gentleman of the road" then you have to make every penny count.

Which means this proposal might have a knock-on impact on the electorate as a whole. Each can of alcoholic poison that a wino needs to obtain will cost more money. This will create more begging. And the tramps will be more desperate. So it might cause more aggressive begging. The upshot of this Tory policy is more begging. This is what happens when you don't think your policies through!

I'm being tongue in cheek, of course. Sort of.

But this policy is going to impact on people other than the younger drinkers, and is an example of a major party increasing taxes (even if they are revenue neutral) when they don't need to. And really, they don't need to, you know. The laws are already in place to stop young people binge drinking. Just enforce the laws that makes drinking illegal if you are under 18. Simple. As. That.

Because if you are over 18 and still drinking Diamond White, then you are twat. And we really shouldn't care about you.