Recruiting

Over at I Am Livid, the wonderfully named Mr Angry muses what a shit job it must to work in recruitment for Al Qaeda. Too true. Not least for the reason about the way recruitment works. You tend to only get your fee after the person you have recruited spends 3 months in their new organisation. That would be a real shitter when working with Al Qaeda. Recruiter: "How is X working out?" Employer: "Oh, bad news I'm afraid. He blew himself up in a public square." Recruiter: "Oh, for fuck's sake! Not again!" Employer: "Yep. And he was still in his probationary period, so you owe us a free replacement. Says so in your terms and conditions."

However, even if you aren't recruiting for a mass murdering terrorist organisation, recruitment can still be a shit job. Take it from me: I used to be a recruitment consultant. Ignoring the mind-numbing, soul-sapping work that is involved in a lot of recruiting, and instead focus on the reaction people have to recruitment consultants. Try telling someone you are a recruitment consultant at a party or something. Seriously, try it. People will look at you as if have murdered their grandmother, burnt the corpse, and are now dancing a merry Irish jig on the smoking remains.

Which is more than a little unfair. I mean, yes, some recruiters are mindless morons who you wouldn't trust to raise the toilet seat before taking a dump. And they do indulge in the unholy art of cold calling: a task that is seemingly designed to wind up everyone in the known universe in mere seconds. But ultimately, they are just doing their jobs. And as a result, there is no need to treat them as the equivalent of a virulent 'flu virus. Or an estate agent.

You could argue that recruiters charge massive amounts of money for simply finding people to do jobs. Yep. But the only reason why they are able to charge those large fees is because people are willling to pay those fees. Likewise, you might find yourself hassled by a recruitment consultant. But if you don't want a recruitment consultant to hassle you, then don't give them your frigging details. Do you really think that, as money hungry sales people, they aren't going to call you? Of course they are. Unless you are really, really, really shit. And if you are important enough to be headhunted, and don't want to be headhunted, then tell whoever is trying to headhunt you to fuck off. They will simply move on to someone who is more open. Don't bitch about sales people trying to sell. It is their job. If you want an insider's view of how to deal with recruiters, then take at look at this from the Moai (another person who proves that those who have worked in recruitment can still be solid chaps). But don't bellyache about people who are just trying to do their jobs.

Ultimately, recruitment consultants are trying to make some money. Some of them will do it well, some of them will be obnoxious arses. It is pot luck as to which type of consultant calls you. And the next time someone tells you that they are a recruiter, try not to look like you want to spit in their left eye at the same time as stabbing them in their right eye with a plastic fork from Pret. Because, you never know, that recruiter might actually turn out to be an *ok* person*.

*I accept no responsibility if they are not. Oh, and a little disclaimer, I am no longer a recruitment consultant. But I still work for a recruitment company. And deal with recruitment consultants on a daily basis. They are like everyone else. Make of that what you will...