Doing up the old (second) homestead

Think about your salary. And then think about your package. You might get a pension. Perhaps a bonus, possibly discretionary. Car allowance? Maybe. If you are really lucky you might get a relocation bonus.

What you are unlikely to get is £10k to change the kitchen in your second home. Or £6k to do up the bathroom in your second home. Or £700 on TV’s and £300 on fucking stereos. For your second home. And £795 for a sideboard for your… oh, I could go on, but you get the gist. You aren’t going to get that sort of package from your current employer, I’d imagine. In fact, if I asked my current employers, I rather think they would laugh at me then swear at me (if they didn’t bounce my sorry ass onto the pavement) rather than even entertain such a package for a moment.

The only way you are going to make that sort of package is if you are an MP. That’s right, the servants of the public in this country can spend £22k of your money on doing up their second home. Read that sentence again. And if you don’t feel waves of disgust rising through you then you need to check you still have a pulse.

Entering the House of Commons now is actually jumping on a gravy train. It gives you the right to cunt away a fortune of someone’s money on perks for yourself. And let us make no mistake about this. MPs are paid for by us. So the next time you go to John Lewis and can’t afford to buy what you want, remember that will be partly because an MP somewhere wanted a new bathroom for his or her second home.

Words fail to truly express the utter, withering contempt that I hold these total and utter fucking bastards in.