Sunday, December 19, 2010

On Cage Against The Machine

I support pretty much anything that represents a slap in the face to that massive tit Simon Cowell. I see The X Factor and its odious ilk as a resounding death knell not just for our culture, but for our society. Voting for the latest no-talent non-entity being judged by Cowell inspires far more debate and opinion that even a General Election - which is one of the reasons why this country is headed to hell in a handcart.

So I do support the sterling work of Cage Against The Machine. I've been a member of their Facebook group since the summer, and like the idea that silence is preferable to the latest pile of toss from the anodyne, amorphous blob who happened to win in Cowell's show. But my support does have its limits.

See, I'd rather a period of silence (or background noise, depending on how you look at it) won out over the alternative, but I have to say that I'm not actually willing to pay for either. I can get silence for free, right here, right now. I don't need to pay for it.

Which is rather my point. I'm all for making a song and a dance about the negative impact The X Factor is having on the UK. Unfortunately, in their choice of track. Cage Against The Machine aren't making a song about it, and that means that if they do hit number 1 today, then it will have been without my help.

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Decent Music Getting to No. 1

So, Rage Against The Machine did make it to the Christmas No. 1 slot after all. I'm pleasantly surprised. Although I would argue that perhaps this isn't the great musical revolution that some are trying to make it into.

Sure, the news will have pissed off Simon Cowell. Even if, as a Sony shareholder, he does make money from RATM unexpected elevation to festive No. 1, I still think he'd rather have his protege as the festive chart-topper. Last night's results shows that the self-styled pop mogul can be over-turned by an amateur internet campaign promoting an old agit-rock anthem from the 1990's. It is hardly a ringing endorsement for him or his craptacular TV show.

Furthermore, this should create an interesting conundrum for the compilers of Christmas No. 1 albums. I'd imagine they'd struggle with making "Mad World" part of their festive collections, what with its lyrical depiction of a deep depression. Quite what they are going to make of a song with that refrain is beyond me; but I suspect that there aren't going to be very many complete collections of Christmas No. 1's moving forward because of RATM's success.

Yet, as others have pointed out, this does make money for Cowell and his record company. Even if it was an actually a genuine grassroots campaign, it has that unpleasant whiff of astroturfing to it. It seems ironic that a campaign that was in part a protest about cynical consumerism at Christmas is so easily made to appear cynical itself.

And the notion that this is in some way a groundbreaking thing is just plain nonsense. The charts are, to a large extent, a democracy. You can get the music you want to the top of the charts by buying it and getting your friends to buy it. You only have to look back across the history of popular music to see some great bands and artists hitting the No. 1 spot. David Bowie, The Jam, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Stones, Manic Street Preachers - all great groups, and all groups that have hit that coveted No. 1 spot. For the very simple reason that their fans went out and bought their records. Sure, you've always had shit hitting No. 1 in the charts - yes, Sir Cliff of Richard, I am directly talking about you - but it has been interspersed with worthwhile acts also sitting at the top of the charts. The difference these days is that a decent band hitting the top of the charts is the exception, rather than the rule. Because decent artists don't sell as many records as the pop pap relentlessly and ruthlessly promoted by the likes of the odious Simon Cowell.

Also, don't go thinking that the internet is the great salvation for the pop charts. It isn't. Firstly, bands have been using the internet for a while to get attention and to win success. If memory serves, both the Arctic Monkeys and the Editors were initially internet phenomena before having mainstream chart success. And you can bet your bottom dollar that Cowell and his terrible ilk will have noted the success of the RATM Facebook campaign, and will be factoring that into their next bid to be Christmas No. 1.

In short, there is nothing new in a good band using t'interweb to get to No 1. And if RATM's success shows anything, it is that the supposed monopoly of manufactured music on the charts is actually an ersatz domination. It just relies on the apathy and indolence of "real" music fans, endlessly intoning the facile and false idea that their sort of music just can't get to N0. 1 anymore. This campaign and RATM have shown that it can - as long as people are actually willing to buy, promote, and just plain enthuse about the music they like.

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Reading between the lines:
X Factor judge Simon Cowell has said he wants to run a series of "prime time" TV debates on key political issues ahead of the next general election.

The music impresario told the BBC he wanted to create a "bear pit" atmosphere, with a live studio audience and viewers voting via telephone.
Which means: "I'm not getting enough attention! No-one takes X Factor seriously! I want to become a champion of democracy!" As long as we want to cheapen democracy even further than it has been by over 12 years of Nu Labour rule.
Gordon Brown's spokesman said he welcomed attempts to promote democracy.

He added that Mr Cowell and others would be encouraged to offer ideas.
Which means: "ha ha ha ha ha. Very funny, Simon. But I've seen the X Factor. And if you think I'm going to be involved in anything like that, you must be fucking stupid. So you can take your idea, and shove it right up your arsehole."

And for once, I'd side with Gordon Brown - that is, as long as he makes it clear that Simon Cowell is a shameless, self-promoting wanker who has about as much interest in democracy in this country as Rupert Murdoch or some other profit obsessed businessman.

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