Strictly Come Dancing: The News Story To End All News Stories

So, a man - whose looks are so idiosyncratic that frankly they defy description - leaves a dancing show. Of his own volition. Because he cannot dance. And somehow this becomes a national scandal that threatens to eclipse the economic apocalypse descending on us all.

I know, as a country, that we lack a sense of perspective. But sometimes it takes an overblown, hysterical reaction to a simplistic populist programme to bring that lack of perspective into sharp relief.