Peter Hain: Correct, Yet Still A Cock

Here’s one thing I never thought I would say – I agree with Peter Hain. He’s finally said something that is unconditionally, one hundred percent correct. He argues that Gordon Brown is running out of time, and that he lacks a coherent direction for his party and therefore for the country. Spot on, Hain, me old mucker. Congratulations. You’re just about in line now with the majority of people in this country.

Of course, Hain goes and ruins it all by spouting shameless shite that promotes himself and his utterly worthless party. Just take a look at this phrase:

Mr Hain says that whatever the "individual policy merits" of ID cards, Trident, nuclear power, part-privatisation of the Royal Mail and Heathrow's third runway, they "do not add up to a programme to get the pulse of potential voters racing. Where is the story in all that, where is the distinctive Labour narrative, where are the Labour values of social justice and freedom?"

When have those Labour values ever been at the core of Nu Labour? Whatever the merits the Labour movement might have, they have not come through at all in the Nu Labour project. And isn’t Peter Hain an ex-Liberal? Is he really best placed, being the naked opportunist that he is, to comment on Labour values? What next? Peter Mandelson talking about ethics? Tony Blair talking about honesty?

And do people want policies that get their pulses racing at the moment? Or would they rather have policies that allow them to keep their jobs and their homes, and policies that won’t bankrupt the country and burden them with massive taxes in the future? Just asking is all.

Oh, and anyone who uses the phrase “individual policy merits” and “ID cards” in the same sentence without the words “have absolutely no” and “whatsoever” automatically proves they are talking crap.

"To win, Labour must be seen as the credible force for change, and that means changing itself – and there is not much time left," he writes. "There is no escaping that New Labour has lost five million voters – and not simply because of longevity in power. On basic core-vote issues of affordable housing, job security, employment rights, crime and migration, Labour has to do much better and much more."

It has had over a fucking decade to make real, substantial changes in all those areas. Given it has failed to achieve anything of any value in nearly 12 years of power, why in the name of all that is holy would we give these cunts more time?

Besides, let’s look at who is relaying this blindingly obvious message to the British people: Peter Hain. Peter fucking Hain. The man who was forced to resign from one of the most corrupt cabinets in living memory. The then government minister whose defence was that he was incompetent, not corrupt. The man who, when forced to apologise to the House of Commons, treats it as a victory and a vindication of himself. A man who could be treated as the very definition of nakedly self-serving and utterly ego-centric. Yeah, his message needs to be heard, but any wisdom within that message is almost completely devalued by the fact that it is coming from the mouth of that perma-tanned cockwad.

And let’s not stop there – I agree with Hain, but he is still a colossal – a massive and complete – dickheaded fuckwit. A moron of the very, very highest order. Because, as I mentioned earlier, the fact that Brown has both lost his way and the plot has been obvious to everyone now for a very long time. Some people were even saying it before Brown became PM. That Hain has only had this revelation about Brown now says more about Hain’s grasp on reality and of his basic intellect than it does about Brown or the current situation in the Labour party.

So there we have it – I agree with Hain, but at the same time still regard him as a total lackwit.