Hillary Clinton (War Hero)

Hillary Clinton came under fire from a sniper in Bosnia, you know. Fuck me, she's brave. She's like that John McCain - she's seen violence on the battlefield, she's put her neck on the line. Ok, she's never been the prisoner of the Vietcong and faced crippling torture, but she's seen conflict, alright? So she gets my vote (which would probably be a tiny comfort for Hillary, if I had a vote in this election).

And I should know about conflict. I've just got back from fighting in Iraq, and I hot footed it to Iraq straight from the Afghan battlefield. Prior to that, I fought in the Falklands, did a couple of tours of duty over in Northern Ireland during the "troubles". My time in France during the Second World War is the stuff legends are made of, but the horrors of that war have nothing on the terrible memories I have of the First World War. And I'm still proud of my part in the Charge of the Light Brigade.

Of course, the above is all bollocks. My natural cowardice will always keep me away from any battlefield; hell, I'm the first out the door if I fight breaks out in a pub I'm in. I'm as likely to be found on a battlefield, under enemy fire as, well, Hillary Clinton.

Which is the problem with her story about coming under sniper fire in Bosnia - as footage released by the Obama campaign shows, it is basically bollocks. But that's ok, it is ok you see - because Clinton misspoke. Just misspoke, that's all. She just said the wrong words. That placed her in the middle of a violent conflict situation. Which is fair enough. I just miswrote when I claimed to have been in a load of the most famous conflicts of the past century and a half.

Except had I genuinely made those claims, no-one would allow me the defence of writing the wrong thing. I would be, quite rightly, a stupid lying bastard. So why isn't the media debunking Clinton as a stupid lying bastard (albeit in more polite terms)?

Because she's a politician, silly. When you lie, when I lie, we are liars. We rightly get slated. When a politician lies, they "misspoke" and we should take their "misspeaking" as proof positive that they are just fallible humans, like you or me. But they don't lie to better their positions. Oh no. That would be impossible.

And they wonder why we regard them with such deep contempt.

UPDATE:

Oh, now it is a mistake! Still not a lie, but a mistake. And "It proves I'm human". Yeah, Hillary. Proves you're human. Worrying you need to clarify that point, but there we go.

I must be losing it a bit, but whenever I see George W. Bush, and then the people running to replace him, I hear the lyrics to Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival running through my head...