Those Poll Results

David Cameron, responding to relatively poor poll ratings* for his increasingly pointless party:

"They don't hand general election victories and governments on a plate to people in this country, and quite right too," he said. "I know how important it is that we recognise this election was always going to be close. This election was always going to be a real fight for our party, a fight to make sure we serve the country we love, and that's the fight we're going to have."

Sure, Davey C. Sure. You need to have a fight. Well get a grip and fucking start fighting, then.

This has always been the Tories' election to lose. And guess what? They are starting to lose it. Which is pathetic, really. A dump in a carrier bag should be able to oust Gordon Brown. The fact that the Tories are starting to struggle is a damning indictment of the current leadership.

And - crucially - it is a damning indictment of the Tory leadership's failure to lead. Both myself and many, many others have consistently criticised Cameron for failing to say what he stands for. And guess what? We were right. Labour - for all of their flaws (and they have a lot of flaws) - actually explain what they stand for. Sure, what they stand for is essentially not worth hearing about, but unless the public is presented with an alternative, the party that says something is likely to triumph over the party that says nothing.

Fucking hell, it isn't even the case that Cameron has to say something original or brilliant. As long as he doesn't say that he wants to punch old women in the bladder, he can say what he likes. But his failure to position himself at all on pretty much anything means that people forget he exists, and he is incapable of grabbing the media spotlight. Since the New Year, Cameron has increasingly resembled (God help him) Nick Clegg. And whatever strengths Clegg might have**, no-one sees him as a future Prime Minister.

I don't give a fuck who wins the next election, but Cameron does. And the buck stops with him. The first Tory victory for nearly 20 years is right in front of him, within his reach. But only if he doesn't allow the petrified indolence that has characterised his leadership thus far to dominate the way the fights the general election. Brown may not be a clunking fist, but if Cameron goes into the General Election with both hands tied behind his back for no reason, Brown will manage to land some punches. And possibly enough to see a minority Labour government returned to power.

*They are still in the lead, just less so that before. There is the temptation to paint these sort of poll results as a disaster, but the reality is there are rogue poll results and poll results are not indicative of how people will actually vote. Nonetheless, given the state of the incumbent government, the Tories should be pissing over the rancid corpse of the Labour Party, rather than fighting the persistently aggressive zombie headed by Gordon Brown.

**Answers on a postcard, please. Because I really don't know what the fuck they are.