Bullshit Spam

One of the great things about being signed up to various job-hunting sites is that you get sent all sorts of rubbish e-mail summaries telling you about jobs that you neither want, are qualified to do or in any way fit with what you’ve said you’re looking for. The other advantage is, of course, that you get a whole host of genuine spam. Like this example:

Hi Dear JobSeeker.
Only for the residents of the UK.
CSB Trust. Our company is engaged in payments automation. Our headquarters is situated in the USA but we have our individuals all over the world. We offer worldwide cash flow solutions for our pratners and their businesses. For the permanent access of our clients and for advancing of their facilities our company is looking for employees. We need diligent employees in each corner of the world.
For them we are offering great working conditions.
You want to be independent? You want to have a stable and high-paid work? Join us right now!
Job Location: UK Job type: Part-time Requirements: - Competent management of payments; - Ability to print and scan documents; - Available to work 2-3 hours per day; - Responsibility; - PC, Internet, E-mail advanced skills; Salary: GBP 20000 - GBP 40000 per annum. We pay cash daily!
If you are interested, please give your CV: info.csb.trust@gmx.co.uk
Please post, if you are eligible to live and work in the UK only and your documents aren't out of date.
Best regards

Something tells me that this isn’t a genuine job opportunity. The English is not so much broken as utterly fragmented – even for a company based in the USA. The concept of earning up to 40,000 a year for a couple of hours of work a day also doesn’t hang together. And I do like the fact that they have “pratners” as clients.

Then there’s the nonsense written in white at the bottom of their e-mail”

anthony and lucretia mott mrs davis yes and lucretia mottfully into effect it is impossible to believe that anythingtheir own affairs and his exampleus to suggest such a word as inconsistency fraternallyof god on cross and who is for hers no man worthy to tasteexcellency the governor general he sat right there whatpocket he set out for rochefort where dealers in substitutesof that it certainly required great force to make the deephis men you have heard that cadet and they walked to the carriage and allwas considering how to go downstairs thiscareer as a nation that such contempt was a later

No idea what that is meant to say or even represent. It sounds like a god-botherer on speed. Still, even that isn’t the biggest sign that this e-mail is just a pile of pointless shit. No, that would be the title:

Part-tisme jjob

Who, in all honesty, would not want a Part-tisme jjob?