On Snow

Regardless of what you think of our imperial past (and I'm not the world's biggest fan of it), Britain used to be great. It had an empire that spanned the globe and a navy that was feared by every other nation. How time has changed things. Now pretty much the whole of the sodding British Isles can be brought to a shuddering halt by a bit of icy water settling on the ground.

But this post isn't whining about how crap we are at coping with even the most minimal amount of adversity. That much is obvious to anyone with more than three brain cells. No, what really strikes me is how just a smattering of the white stuff can reduce otherwise sensible adults into the state of jibbering, over-excited children. "Ooo look!" the cry goes out with the sort of excitement you might expect from someone who has just won the lottery "it's snowing!" Facebook and Twatter become rolling commentary on exactly what the weather is doing, and anyone who isn't jubilant over the fact that it is snowing is regarded as some sort of weird, misanthropic shit.

Of course, I understand that the snow looks nice - that is until someone walks in it or pisses in it or it starts to melt into that repugnant black slush. But there is also something strikingly beautiful about the desert - that doesn't mean that I suddenly want the frickin' Sahara to materialise at the bottom of my road. I'd happily look at a picture of a snowy scene and note its beauty; when it's actually outside the front door and I'm going to have to waddle through it to get to work it isn't so much beautiful as an absolute arsing inconvenience.

Which is the point - snow is actually cold, unpleasant, massively disruptive and actually quite dangerous (what with it being slippy and all). Those who coo at the first flakes that settle on the ground are actually cooing over something we could all do without; the very fact that they don't realise this makes me suspect that they aren't reduced to the state of gibbering idiots by the snow after all. Rather, the snow gives them the perfect excuse to show that all they actually are is deeply, deeply stupid.