Cameron's Questions

Apparently, Cameron's speech was trying to answer three questions: why us, why now and why me? No doubt Cameron managed to do a sterling job in his speech of dealing with these questions, but I have my own answers. That, possibly, are a little bit more cynical.

Why us?

Unfortunately, there isn't anyone else. Quite simply, just the Tories can possibly replace Labour. The Libertarian Party, UKIP, the Greens - even the Liberal Democrats - are crippled by the nature of the two party system and are simply not able to transform themselves into a likely contender to replace Labour as the government. The Tories aren't in a position to win for any other reason than the pendulum that swings between the two parties in our two party system is finally swinging back towards them.

Why now?

For two reasons. Firstly, the whole of the Nu Labour project was a massive confidence trick. It had no idea about basic economics, and its leaders took as much money as they could from the people to fund projects they quite simply could not afford. All the talk about increasing spending was actually about taking risks that the government could not fund and therefore could not afford to take. Now that confidence trick has been rumbled. All the prophecies about the government not leaving enough for a rainy day have been shown to be 100% true. The Labour party built two election victories on a fraud in the economy. They were caught out. The damage they have done to a now near bankrupt country is plain for all to see. As a result, they are about as popular as smallpox. That's one of the reasons why now is the time of the Tories; everyone hates the fucking government.

And on top of that, the Labour party have chosen perhaps the worst of their Trinity of Evil (Brown, Harman, Balls) to serve as Prime Minister. Despite him not winning any sort of election to become Prime Minister. Despite him having all of the personal warmth of a particularly nasty ice age. And despite him consistently showing in the polls that the people of this country that the people in this country would rather have a over-ripe turd in a suit as Prime Minister than the "Right" "Honourable" Gordon Brown.

Why now? Labour lied to the public for 10 years, bankrupted the economy, and made a fat, misanthropic puff adder Prime Minister. The surge towards the Tories isn't about how much people love that party. Rather, it is about their determination to get the hell away from Labour before they accidentally launch nuclear weapons against the British people and thus complete their task of utterly shafting the United Kingdom for decades to come.

Why me?

Well, you gave a better speech than David Davis a few years ago, Davey Boy. Simple as that. It meant the Davis campaign for leadership floundered, and you became the favourite. Had that not happened, then Davis would be leader now and you would be Shadow Education Secretary or something. Pure bloody chance made Cameron Tory leader. Nowt more than that.

And there is nothing historical about the Tories standing poised to be the next government; there is nothing particularly exciting about it either. The fact that they have come back from the political wilderness owes far more to the egregious incompetence of the Labour party than anything else. People want the Tories now simply because they are the only party in a position to replace the hated Labour government. Put very simply, this is the 1997 election in reverse.