When is a boycott not a boycott?

When Gordon Brown is organising it.

Because Brown is not going to the Olympics! Except he is. But he isn't going to the opening ceremony! But he may be attending plural ceremonies. Possibly.

If the above is about as clear as mud, apologies - but it is Gordon's fault, not mine. Over to Nick Clegg for some clarity (no, really):

"Chancellor Merkel in Germany and President Sarkozy in France saying quite specifically that they might not go to the opening ceremony shows that the debate has always been about the opening ceremony. So now suddenly to be asked to believe by Number 10 that they never really intended to go in the first place either smacks of a rather odd way of going about things or just downright incompetence."

Quite.

No doubt the Chinese are taking the news that Brown may or may not be attending some or all of the Olympics in their stride. I mean, they'd probably be pleased if he didn't attend. I'd imagine Brown can put the kiss of death on any ceremony, opening or closing.

Ultimately I think this crippling indecision over whether to attend the Olympics and, if so, what to attend, is typical of that complete wanker Brown. It isn't just the Olympics, it will be every single decision that fucker has to make. Every. Last. Decision. That is why our country looks increasingly crippled and utterly without direction. Gordon Fucking Brown.

Hell, I'd even bet Brown was paralysed for days over whether to appear on American Idol - for fear he would be voted off, even though he wasn't a contestant.

Gordon Brown. Not fit for his job. Not fit for any job. What a wanker that man is.