Red Nose Day

Oh Christ help us.

This is going to make me sound curmudgeonly, like an old man in the pub who rants away about how modern life is basically shite but I cannot fucking stand Red Nose Day. I cannot stand the dreadful, cheap piss that is foisted on the television and I cannot stand the shower of shits who are allegedly celebrities in this country trying to make utter dicks of themselves in the name of charity. You know what? Russell Brand doesn’t need Red Nose Day to make himself look like a total and absolute cock. He can do that just by being Russell Brand. And if someone really wants to give to charity they should just fucking go and do it quietly, and with a certain dignity. Not by buying a piece of crap red nose that even the most cash-strapped clown would reject as cheap tat. Today is Red Nose Day – I will spend it, as I always do, hoping that some fucktarded pseudo-celebrity drowns in a tub of beans.

In Red Nose Day – fuck the fuck off.

If you want it put a little more eloquently then I will refer you to this awesome quote from Tim in The Office:

“Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against this sort of thing. It's a good cause, but I just don't want to have to join in with someone else's idea of wackiness, okay? It's the wackiness I can't stand. It's like, you see someone outside Asda collecting for cancer research because they've been personally affected by it, or whatever, I dunno, an old bloke selling poppies, there's a dignity about that. A real quiet dignity.”

Precisely.