Torchwood: Miracle Day: The Gathering

So, stuff happened. The plot moved forward. We saw the Blessing, found out that Julie Kitzinger is right (about what we do not know), saw Oswald Danes (now a leering pantomime villain) get to Wales despite being the world’s most wanted man, and also witnessed the sluggish cliff-hanger to the previous week’s episode being utterly dodged. The incapable Esther managed to get Jack to Scotland. Yeah, and monkeys are flying out of my anus.

It would have to be something pretty bloody spectacular to impress me at this point given the general standard of this series – this episode was not that. It was largely scene setting for a finale I no longer care about. And it seems pointless to rant away further at what has been a grossly disappointing series of Torchwood. Yeah, it has been shit. But realistically, we’ve known that for weeks. Now it is, at long last, limping towards a final episode that, for a much less self-indulgent series, should have happened circa six episodes ago. Dare I hope for something interesting to round off the series? Well, yeah, I can hope – but that’s about it. Because we all know that, even if the finale is perhaps the best bit of TV all year, it is still going to come across as an anti-climax. This hasn’t been Children of Earth. It hasn’t even been Cyberwoman. And even if we have a finale that convincingly wraps everything up and perhaps even kills off a few regulars (Esther would be great) it won’t change the fact that the vast majority of this series has been tedious padding.

Because of “the Miracle” people live forever. Well, it feels like this series has been going on forever. The fact that it is about to end is a real blessing. Just shame that it comes with such a sense of tedium and anti-climax. Go on, Miracle Day, knock my socks off. But even if you do, chances are it will be too little, too late.