"Lord" Prescott

Take a look at this picture, and see if you can work out what it is about it that makes me sick to the pit of my stomach:

No, it isn't about the fact that John Prescott is in it - although his jowly face and stupid hair never ceases to make me feel just a little bit nauseous. No, what I really cannot cope with is the fact that this photo depicts John Prescott - one of the most pointless politicians of his generation - being elevated to the House of Lords.

It isn't just about the fact that this is utterly undeserved, although that does play a part. After all, Prescott's most memorable acts as Deputy PM were knobbing his secretary, puking after meals and playing croquet. Perhaps his greatest achievement was surviving for so long as Deputy PM despite being a national joke. But elevation to the House of Lords should not be treated as a long-service medal for below average politicians. This isn't Clement Attlee moving into the Lords; it isn't even Harold fucking Wilson getting to be a Lord - this is John Prescott, the very definition of a Labour also-ran, getting the chance to become a Lord.

And it isn't just about Prescott not deserving this privilege - in fact, what bothers me most is the hypocrisy of it. This is John Prescott, former trade unionist, supposed man of the people and link to old Labour, moving into the House of Lords. It is an old school socialist jumping on a gravy train that can support him until he goes to the grave - and a role in which he will be completely unaccountable. And it is a man who previously rejected the idea of being a Lord suddenly embracing it when it is offered to him on a plate. Don't believe the guff spewing from his mouth about how he is going to hold the Con-Dem alliance to account - this is the man who was incapable of achieving anything as Deputy Prime Minister, so quite how he thinks he is going to achieve anything as just one Lord in a wing of government designed mainly for oversight is beyond me. No, this has nothing to do with any principle; this is the chance for Prescott to stay in government without having to bother with any little problems like having to achieve anything or having to bother with elections. This is not about serving the people; this is about Prescott serving himself.

So just like his former boss, "Lord" Prescott stands as the inversion of that Kennedy quote: this isn't about what he can do for his country, this is about what his country can do for you.