LabourList: Defending Gordo

LabourList has one of those articles up that they sometimes almost seem to have to put up every now and again - the type of article that seems to grudgingly praise Gordon Brown. And the article reads like the standard hyperbole of someone who is disappointed with Brown but is also trying to make the best of a piss-poor situation. But this paragraph is an almost textbook case of moronic Nu Labour hyperbole:

However, the reality is that Brown is here to stay. Nothing in his past or his personality suggests he will step down voluntarily – and he will not be challenged by a serious contender for the leadership. It may not be ideal for all, but Labour’s only hope is that Brown’s intellect and magisterial grasp of the one area that will most determine the election result – the economy – will save the day. Meanwhile, Brown must urgently find a radical constitutional agenda that incorporates electoral reform, to bring leftwards the centre of gravity in British politics once and for all, and – less nobly – attract the Liberal Democrats in the wake of a hung Parliament.

Really, just so much wrong with the paragraph that it is unbelievable. It is so wrong that there is something jarring in every sentence. So let's break it down and take a look at why it is so wrong. First up:

However, the reality is that Brown is here to stay.

Until the next election, yeah. But believe me, after that he will be swept out of Number 10 and out of the Labour leadership. Brown isn't here to stay at all - he'll be gone at the first electoral contest he has to face, be it within the Labour party or at the hands of the British public. 

Nothing in his past or his personality suggests he will step down voluntarily – and he will not be challenged by a serious contender for the leadership.

No, because when you think about it being Labour leader is a pretty rubbish job right about now. Any one taking over from Brown can be sure of one thing - losing the next election. So for the power hungry members of the Labour party, it is worth waiting until Brown has lost the next election and is stigmatised by that failure, leaving whoever the next Labour leader is with the task of starting to rebuild the party. 

It may not be ideal for all...

Particularly not the millions of people in this country who oppose Brown but have never, ever been allowed to say whether he should be Prime Minister or not.

...but Labour’s only hope is that Brown’s intellect and magisterial grasp of the one area that will most determine the election result – the economy – will save the day.

What? What? Oh, that is brilliant, priceless fucking comedy, right there in the phrase "Brown's intellect and magisterial grasp of the... economy." That would be the Gordon Brown who claimed to have ended Boom and Bust just as one of the worst recessions since World War Two descended on the economy. That would be the same Gordon Brown who propped up failed banks with taxpayer's money, thus restricting his ability to fund other sections of the economy and saddling at least a generation of people with a crippling debt. That same Gordon Brown who was Chancellor for the 10 years when the banking sector - with the backing of the government - mortgaged their own future and at the same time the economic well-being of the whole country. Yeah, that Gordon Brown. Either the author of the piece has no idea of economic reality whatsoever, or they are being deeply ironic. Knowing LabourList as I do, I don't doubt it is the former. 

Meanwhile, Brown must urgently find a radical constitutional agenda that incorporates electoral reform, to bring leftwards the centre of gravity in British politics once and for all

I've said it before, but constitutional reform is the last refuge of the politically damned. It is effectively the sight of a government realising they won't be in power after the next General Election, and so their best chance of having a legacy is trying to fuck the incoming government as much as possible. Constitutional reform certainly isn't a vote winner, since most people in this country rightly couldn't give two short sharp fucks about what happens with the constitution. Unless, of course, that there is another reason for the sudden lust for electoral reform:

...and – less nobly – attract the Liberal Democrats in the wake of a hung Parliament. 

Ah, and there we have it. The ultimate nobility of the Nu Labour project - a readiness to whore themselves out to Britain's perpetual third party in the desperate attempt to cling to some sort of power. 

And there we have it - Labour's best hope is the worst Prime Minister since Anthony Eden. He should do whatever he can to stay in power, including fucking up the constitution. Still, if Brown does follow the advice of this article and fight the next election on his *success* in economics, we can be sure that he will lose that election by not just a few seats, but by a landslide.