Government of all the Talents: Sir Alan Sugar.

No, really. You read that title correctly. 

I missed this one yesterday, but it is with a grim, hollow laugh of contempt that I note Sir Alan "Prickly Lefty Twat" Sugar has joined the government as enterprise Tsar (whatever the ruddy fuck that might be). 

I'm sure that Sugar is more than capable of taking a made-up government post. After all, he is responsible for the Amstrad e-m@iler, a big old hunk of crap that has rightly joined so many other needless innovations on the scrap heap of history. And of course, it is vital to have the star of a ripped-off, second hand US show in government. In no way is this a gimmick, of course. In no way whatsoever. That would be beneath a politician as morally upstanding and anti-spin as Gordon Brown. 

I do wonder whether Sugar would have been given this post had The Apprentice not been in mid series. But ultimately, this is just the start of the Labour party's shameless promotion of Sugar as some sort of political leader. Watch this space, people. I can see him running for London Mayor in three years. And if he wins, then with his commercial savvy and quiet competence we should see a new age for London. And for new age read the complete collapse of London as a boorish twerp who mistakes a stern look for gravitas and charisma drives the capital's economy into the ground just as surely as the boorish twerp in Number 10 has managed to do for the national economy.