Pandemic imminient! Pandemic imminent! Jesus Christ, pandemic imminent!

*Yawns*

People are going to get swine 'flu, they're going to pass it to each other because our public transport is largely enclosed and we are all reliant on air conditioning. But this, in itself, shouldn't really be news. People have been getting 'flu for years. It has made them ill. It has made them really ill. And yes, 'flu can kill. And does, every year.

But we can all help to limit the spread of swine 'flu, and for everyone in London here's a real easy way. When you are on the tube, and you feel the need to cough, stick your hand in front of you mouth. It helps prevent the spread of this virus, it is a polite thing to do and it also stops a great big chunk of flob jumping from your coughing mouth onto my book. Three good reasons to do what you should have learned to do back at school - cover your mouth when you cough.