Minor, Yet Horrifically Anger Inducing, Irritants #2

I don't buy pirate DVDs. I know people who do, I know pubs where you can pick up pretty much any film you want for a couple of quid. But as square and as lame as it makes me sound, I tend to obey the laws surrounding piracy. Primarily because the quality of illegal DVDs is so shite*.

So it really pisses me off to have to sit through those endless fucking anti-piracy adverts that start most DVDs these days. I don't care if pirated DVDs fund terrorism or damage future movie production - it ain't gonna stop me buying pirated DVDs because I don't already!

The worst one is the ad that runs on a load of US produced DVDs, such as the boxed sets of The Shield. For anyone who hasn't seen it, it is a good couple of minutes of would be funky music, whilst shaky images of people committing thefts (of cars, handbags and DVDs) are inter cut with a girl downloading a movie off the interweb. At the end of the ad the girl decides not to illegally download the movie after all and goes out. The message is simple - don't pirate movies or TV shows! Just a shame that the message is delivered in a way that only an obese, fuckwitted, middle aged marketing executive would think is relevant and funky.

And the worst thing is you can't skip it. For the love of God, you cannot skip it. You can jump from menu to menu on the actual DVD, you can skip through the whole DVD if you so wish. What you cannot do is skip this patronising, big old bag of shite advert. You go out, buy a DVD legally, and the only bit you cannot skip is a fucking insulting ad asking you not to steal this DVD!

Because if there is one thing that is going to get me to buy a pirated DVD or download a movie illegally is these fucking adverts. If the movie or TV show has been obtained illegally, at least I won't have to waste my time with these godawful adverts.

*I said I didn't buy them; I didn't say I'd never watched them.