Cleaning up Corruption, the Parliament Way

Two news stories that would suggest that our elected oligarchy - sorry, leaders - are starting to take the blight of corruption amongst their members seriously. Until you look at the facts.

First up, we have the news that the corpulent cunt who acts as Speaker of the Commons has chosen three MPs to look into the question of, erm, MP's expenses. Of course, being MPs, they are bound to be neutral - they couldn't have any vested interests, surely? And when you examine who the MPs chosen actually are, as Guido does so well here, you can't help but think that this trio examining corruption in the House is a bit like allowing Peter Sutcliffe to investigate murders - ie, a total fucking farce. The fact that they think this will fool us again shows the deep contempt that they hold the electorate in.

Then you have young "Hug A Husky" Cameron pledging transparency on behalf of the Shadow Cabinet. Which would be very noble if it hadn't have taken the political obliteration of a Tory arsehole to achieve this. And besides, shouldn't we expect transparency over the the expenses of MPs anyway? Shouldn't we be able to take that as read? After all, it is our fucking money the greedy whores are cunting away.

To look at British Politics in 2008 is to fill oneself with a certain sick despair. We now seem to be in a situation where not only do the parties not argue over policy anymore, nor who is best placed to implement this broad consensus, but rather who is the least corrupt. Yep, the choice you have at election time is to choose the party that is less fraudulent and deceitful than the others. Note that we aren't able to choose a party that isn't corrupt. That would be asking for too much.

And suddenly the words of Oliver Cromwell* seem exceptionally relevant to this day and age:

"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money. Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone!

"So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!"

*The Moai sent me that link. In relation to hypocrisy in the EU. But I rather think the words are suitable for the UK parliament as well. And, indeed, to corrupt fucks everywhere. I also think another blogger has used Cromwell's words recently - apologies, stealing your idea a bit, but the speech just seems so relevant to the UK in 2008.