Sanctimonious Shite, Even at the Bitter End

And so to Blair’s resignation speech. Let's have a look at some of the *ahem* choice morsels (via the BBC):

“There are obviously judgments to be made on my premiership and in the end that is for you the people to make."

Damn right, Tony. So let me judge you. You are an abject, total failure as a Prime Minister. You are an embarrassment to your country. You have been blessed with large majorities but failed to create any truly worthwhile policies. When you have taken a stand, it has been a fucking disaster either through shite policies or through disastrous foreign policy adventures. You are a pitiful piece of crap, Tony - you are barely worth my contempt. It is the shame of the nation that you and your harem of total fucking tossers were re-elected not just once, but twice.

Was that the sort of thing you meant by "judgments on your premiership", Tone?

“Hand on heart, I did what I thought was right."

So fucking what? Very few politicians set out to do what they think is wrong. George W. Bush can put his hand on his heart and say he has done what he though was right. Fucking hell, Adolf Hitler could claim the same thing. History is full of people who thought they were doing the right thing but actually turned out to be horrifically wrong. Blair has become one of those historical figures.

“I came into office with high hopes for Britain's future, and I leave it with even higher hopes for Britain's future."

What hopes for Britain's future? In seven weeks we are going to have that ponderous, drab, sulking spendthrift Chancellor as our fucking Prime Minister. Blair's departure is bittersweet because whilst we are getting rid of one total cock, we are getting an even bigger twat in his place. If Blair wanted to achieve something - anything - to justify his ten years in power then it could have been blocking that miserable cunt Brown in his desperate attempts to win the keys to Number 10. But no. Blair is such a fucking failure that he didn't even fucking manage that.

“1997 was a moment for a new beginning, the sweeping away of all the detritus of the past. And expectations were so high, too high probably, too high in a way for either of us.”

Yeah, well, you set the expectations, Blair. And you failed to reach them, in spite of having pretty much unprecedented majorities and related power in the Commons. After ten years belly aching that the parameters were too high is not fucking acceptable. It is beyond lame. Of all the pissy excuses and justifications for a wasted decade in power, this has to be the weakest.

“And now, in 2007, you can easily point to the challenges or the things that are wrong or the grievances that fester. But go back to 1997, think back - no really think back. Think about your own living standards then in 1997 and now."

My living standards are much the same as they were when you won power, Tony. Except everyone is paying more tax for no tangible improvement in any public sector area.

“People say it is a tough job. Not really. A tough life is the life led by young severely disabled children and their parents."

What, like the Leader of the Opposition? And when you are in control of the lives and futures of every frigging person in this country, well, I would like it to be a tough job. Frankly I don't want you to sleep at night through worrying about the sheer magnitude of your job and the awesome responsibilities you have taken on.

"I give my thanks to you, the British people, for the times that I have succeeded - and my apologies for the times I have fallen short."

Ten years on, and Blair gets round to apologising. Doesn't really specify what for, but let's face it, if we went through all the fuck-ups that make up the Blair premiership, we would be here all night.

"Britain is not a follower today, Britain is a leader. It gets the essential characteristic of today's world - it is interdependent. It is a country comfortable in the 21st century, at home in its own skin, able not just to be proud of its past but also confident in its future."

Britain is a follower today. It is spoon fed foreign policy from Washington at the same time as giving away vast amounts of political influence, cash and economic independence to the EU. Britain isn't great anymore. And escapades like the Iraq war have further worsened an already tarnished international reputation.

Blair's speech is a nauseating collection of undeserved platitudes and vacuous posturing. Therefore a lot like the man himself and his abortion of a premiership.