Scrounging MP Bastards

According to The Times Sir Philip Mawer, the parliamentary sleaze watchdog, wants a tightening up of the rules relating to MPs expenses. Apparently there is just too much of a disparity between the expenses being claimed by MPs. Well, I would argue that there is far too much of a difference between the expenses claimed by MPs and people who reside in what I would like to call “the real fucking world”.

Last year, I reckon I would have spent less than £2,000 on expenses. Last year, Alex Salmond (SNP) spent £157,844. Last year, Jacqui Smith (Labour – in fucking Redditch, of all places) spent £158,313. Last year, Ashok Kumar (Labour) spent £161,049. Alistair Carmichael (Liberal Democrat) spent £161,815. Eric Joyce (Labour) spent a whopping, eye-watering £174,811. That is nearly a million pounds on the expenses of five MPs. And we have over 600 of the fuckers larking around Westminster. Ok, the five listed are the highest spending five, but the next time you look at your wage slip, think about all that lovely tax money you earned going to Eric Joyce up in Scotland.

Take a look at what they are spending our money on – second homes, first class travel for families, over £80,000 to hire staff (including family) and on not only fucking car journeys (40p a mile) but also on bike rides (20p a mile – I’m sorry, what? 20p a mile for riding a shitting bike? Jesus Christ, I’d been cycling everywhere if I was an MP. Or if I had a bike). What do I get expensed for my job? Only things directly related to my job. I have to pay for my own accommodation (I just have the one home, I find that works for me, I just live close to my place or work) and my own travel (ok, I walk to work, but I do know people who spend a small fortune on getting to work). And I don’t get to employ my family members using tax money. Maybe I should run for Parliament, jump on this gravy train. Or maybe our elected representatives should just be made fucking responsible for pissing our money away. Perhaps Mawer could help…

But what is his suggestion? MPs should provide receipts for all expenses over £50 rather than £250.

Frankly, that is not good enough. Not even close.

MPs should provide receipts for every single thing they claim back from the tax payer. Every. Single. Thing. No exceptions. Nothing. If they don’t have a receipt, they lose the money (again, like people in the real world). Fuck ‘em. The fact that they have managed to win some seat somewhere to follow a party whip in Westminster against both their better judgement and the best interests of their constituents does not allow them to waste hundreds of thousands of pounds on their expenses.

Sure, there may be a lot of legitimate expenses out there. I would imagine it costs a fortune to travel from the Northern areas of Scotland to London. But let us see what these expenses are. Provide receipts. And then it should fall to Mawer to publicise exactly what MPs have spent our money on. Not “place in the public domain” or “register” or any other euphemism for “sweeping information under the carpet” the wankers in Westminster use. They should be broadcast across the national media, and any MP who has been wasting our tax money should be named and shamed. Hell, named, shamed, and banned from ever running as an MP. Or worse still – made to run in their constituencies at the next election for Veritas.

There is a lot of talk about how we restore public confidence in our elected representatives. Quick suggestion – make sure that MPs have to obey the same rules as us. Maybe if they have to live in the real world, if even for a bit, they will see why we are so fucked off with them.