3 Non-News Stories

Today is one of those special days where nearly every "news" story makes me shrug in broad apathy. Let's take a look at some of the highlights:

Think-tank states a Tory budget is not progressive: So the fuck what? You could probably find another Think Tank that says precisely the opposite. Hell, you could probably find one that sees the budget as the best thing that has ever happened to anyone ever, and another one that thinks precisely the opposite. It is all meaningless anyway, since the word progressive means nothing. Literally, nothing. It is a word that lefties use as a shorthand for "we like this", nothing more. So just imagine that - left-wingers not liking the Tories. Crazy, eh?

Woman puts cat in bin: Ok, that was a pretty shitty thing to do, but let's keep our sense of perspective here, people. Its a cat. It is ok. Basically, this story is saying that people are shitty and cruel sometimes. But there are much better examples of that in human history. The 1994 Rwandan genocide would be a good example. As would the Beslan school massacre. As would... well, you get the point.

John Cruddas backs David Miliband for Labour Leader: So one charisma bypass backs another charisma bypass in the barely fought race to be the person to lose the next election for the Labour party. How can this really be a news story? The only possible newsworthy outcome of this union of non-entities would be if these two people met in the same room and quite literally sucked all the life out of it through the tedium created by their utterly unhistoric meeting.

Today is yet another indictment of the 24/7 news cycle, where tedium is spun into being news despite not really being interesting on any level.