A book definitely not worth buying

Some things should be April Fools Day jokes, buy sadly aren't. Like this story: the release of the collected speeches of one Gordon Brown:

Now, just in time for Easter and indeed for Fathers’ Day, a collection of all these moments and many more are available to own in a single weighty volume. Today, Gordon Brown’s greatest hits arrives in bookshops up and down the country.

The Change We Choose; Speeches 2007-2009 contains the Prime Minister’s most exciting speeches from the past three years.

The phrase Jesus fucking Christ springs to mind. Gordon Brown's most exciting speeches from the past three years. Literally no examples of anything exciting emerging from the sack of crap that is Gordon Brown spring to mind. Plus, he is shit - really shit - at public speaking. And I'm not alone in that opinion:

At Politicos, the publishing house, an employee was temporarily lost for words. “How grizzly,” he said at last. Collected speeches of Churchill and Aneurin Bevan still sell in great volumes and in great volume, but he was not sure there was a market for Mr Brown.

“I suppose it would be great for insomniacs,” he ventured.

Asked to fit Mr Brown within the pantheon of Parliamentary orators, Brian Jenner, head of the UK Speech Writers Guild, said he was “up there with John Major".

"Great for insomniacs"; yes. And those suffering from deep depression with no desire to recover. But aside from that, the market must be - shall we say - limited for such a release. So why, in the name of everything both holy and unholy, is this bag of shite hitting the bookshelves?

In Downing Street, a spokesman for the orator himself said the book was being released by popular demand. “A number of people have been asking him over time for collections of his speeches,” he said. “I hope it will appeal to people from across society, from the average punter in a bookshop to academics and political observers.”

Really? Popular demand? Who from? The clinically insane? I mean, not even a Labour party activist would want this book anymore, not as Brown's star fades away into nothingness. If you want to read a speech by a real orator from the Labour party, then read something by Bevan, or Wilson, or Foot. Don't touch Brown's speeches with a ten-foot barge-pole.

I am simultaneously an average punter in a bookshop, academic and political observer and I think I speak for those in all three categories when I say I would never want to read the collected speeches of Prime Minister Brown, let alone pay to read the fucking things.