Long Weekend

Obscure horror films can be great finds. Those movies that don’t make it mainstream for whatever the reason (normally not being commercial enough) are often the creepiest, most imaginative entries in the genre. Of course there would be another reason why they are obscure – because they are shit. That’s the danger with watching a movie that few people know about.

Long Weekend - an Australian horror movie in which a couple are stalked by mother nature herself – is an odd combination of the two. It has some very, very creepy moments. The dead sea cow creeping up the beach unseen, the paths that lead round and round in circles, the feral dog in the tent, and the camper van floating under the crystal clear sea water are all wonderfully spooky ideas. And overall, the theme of the movie is that there is an awesome power toying with the two humans, just waiting to destroy them. Whatever the couple choose to do, they can’t escape. They were never going to. From the moment they arrived on the beach that the locals swore blind didn’t exist, they were doomed. It is horrific because it is all so inescapable.

The reasoning as to why the two face the wrath of nature is dealt with in a little bit of a heavy handed way in the film, but there can be no doubt that these two are crass when it comes to dealing with nature. They are destructive forces. They litter, they kill, they vandalise. The man has a tendency to shoot at nothing, and shoots in fear – something that later costs his wife dearly. They wipe out a substantial number of animals through carelessness, out of rage and just for the hell of it. As I say, it is dealt with in a terribly unsubtle way in the film, but it is easy to see why Nature might dislike this pair so much.

But that is the problem with the film. The couple at the centre of it are so unpleasant – to each other, to Nature, to just about everything – that it is difficult to have any sympathy with them whatsoever. At points in the film, the malign actions of Mother Nature are almost a blessed relief from the endless fucking sniping between the two leads. It isn’t even a case of one of them being in the wrong – they both are deeply unpleasant, selfish people. As a result, it is a little difficult to care when either one of them meets their untimely ends.

Long Weekend has some fantastic ideas in it, and works really well in places. It is also well-directed and, often, a strikingly beautiful film. Yet it could work so much more if the two leads weren’t so unbearable. It is a vital rule in the successful horror movie that the viewer should care about those under threat. And unfortunately, this is where Lost Weekend fails so badly.