Vince Cable's Memoirs

Vince Cable's memoirs are called Free Radical. I'm assuming the "radical" part of the title is some sort ironic comment. Because, unless the meaning of the word "radical" has radically changed to mean "deeply bland", then Cable is anything other than a radical. It is a bit like calling David Cameron an ideologue. Or Gordon Brown charismatic.

But it is the write-up attached to Cable's book that gets to me. Ok, ok, of course it is going to big him up a bit. Calling him a pedestrian politician in a pedestrian party isn't going to shift many copies. But seriously, the way he is presented bears no connection with reality:

Vince Cable, Deputy Leader of the LibDems and Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, has been proved right again and again as the current economic crisis unfolds. Measured, analytical and wise, he is the hero of the crunch in Parliament - as well as its most popular member.

Being Deputy Leader of the Lib Dems is a little bit like being the Deputy Manager of a Butlins - it is important to you if you happen to hold that position, but means fuck all to anyone in the real world. And I hate to point it out, but George Osborne is the Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer. If anything, Cable is the Shadow of the Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer.

And I really can't think of any way in which Cable has been shown to be right in the current economic crisis - let alone being right again and again. If memory serves, he was as surprised as anyone when some of the banks went tits up, and then he began calling for the nationalisation of Northern Rock. And the nationalisation of Northern Rock has been nothing other than a total fucking disaster that has rinsed the taxpayer of a boatload of cash. Cable hasn't been shown to be right again and again. He's been shown to be a massive, massive tool.

As far as I am aware, the crunch - or recession, if we want to use real terms - doesn't have a hero in Parliament. If it did, it would probably be someone with a little more wisdom and a little less lust for the limelight than Vince Cable. And I defy anyone to objectively prove that the Deputy Leader of the failing third party is actually the most popular member of Parliament. He quite simply isn't. He may have made a couple of people laugh with his quip about Brown moving from being Stalin to Mr Bean, but a genuinely level of popularity in the Commons comes from slightly more than just one good line.

In fairness, Cable has got one part of his memoirs correct - the first world in the title. Because in three months time, I'm pretty sure that his book will be selling for next to nothing in discount stores across the country.