Gordon Brown - Apologise? NEVER!

It seems to be rapidly becoming one of the central issues in British politics at the moment – whether Gordon Brown should apologise or not for helping to cause the recession. Personally, I rather monkeys flying out of my arsehole is a little more likely than Gordon Brown having the modesty and self-awareness to apologise for anything, but there we go.

Gordon’s argument is simple – the crisis did not start in this country* and there is nothing that the government could have done to prevent the economic catastrophe we are all living with. Quite why he now thinks that the crisis can be stopped through government action when the government could not prevent the recession in the first place is beyond me, but Brown’s arguments – and those of the party that he leads – do not often stand up to close scrutiny.

So, the counter-argument goes, Gordon was Chancellor over the period that sowed the seeds of our economic calamity. Therefore, he should be a man, accept responsibility for the economic Armageddon that is currently taking jobs and homes across the nation, and apologise.

Now, I don’t think Brown should apologise. Don’t get me wrong, there is one heck of a lot that he could say sorry for. But fuck it, there is no way he should apologise. See, apologising would help him. It would make him more popular.

Sure, if he were to apologise right now, then there would be a lot of media coverage about his apology – mainly asking why it took so long. But that would fade given time, and the upshot is that some people would start to feel some sympathy towards Gordo. The rhetoric would be simple – the guy made mistakes, he’s admitted that, and now he is trying to make it right through his actions. Most people have been in that position, they’d feel some empathy for Gordon. Those in the Labour party calling for Gordon and the government to apologise aren’t stupid**- they realise the power that apology could have.

So, Gordon, don’t apologise. Really, don’t. Continue to let everyone see you as an arrogant, unsympathetic, out-of-touch dickhead. ‘Cos the electorate will remember your failure to apologise and your failure to take responsibility for the fucking horrific economic conditions you have helped to create. And they’ll punish you for it when we are finally allowed to go to the polls. And I hope when you and your party look back at the tattered remains of your annihilated administration after the next election, I really hope someone says to you “if only you’d apologised, Gordon! If only you’d had the humility to apologise...”

*It started in America, dontcha know. Unless Gordo is in America, addressing Congress. In that scenario, it started in a location yet to be disclosed. But not America. Or Britain, obviously.
**On this one issue. They are really, really dumb in so many other ways.