Clinton and Brown: Two peas, same pod

Over in the US of A Hillary is going to win by a landslide but still lose the overall contest. For a lot of people, that would be the moment to pack up your bags and go do something else. For Hillary, it will be a sure sign that the swing is finally going in her direction, that the people are speaking and for the first time she can listen. Mainly because they are speaking in favour of her. I expect her to ramble on to the convention, still pretending she has a chance, still grinning the maniac grin that has so chilled the souls of Democratic voters across the US. Yes, she'll continue to fight until everyone in the Democratic party hates her. Including, hopefully, herself.

You could accuse the Hillary campaign of adopting a bunker mentality - certainly there seems to be an increasing void between reality and the Clinton 08 movement. But for me, the more interesting observation is just how similar Hillary is to our own odious Prime Minister.

Sure, there are some glaring differences. For all her flaws, Hillary has at least show a willingness to put herself at the mercies of the voters - something which sadly seems to terrify our incumbent Prime Minister. But if you paint the character portraits of Hillary and Gordon in broad brush strokes, some key similarities do emerge.

Both sat in the shadows of more charismatic leaders for many years. Both are policy wonks, more at home talking about the minutae of (generally very shitty) policies than they are in connecting with other people. Both have managed to promote themselves to positions far beyond the extent of their own limited abilities. And you'd probably cross the street rather than have a conversation with either one of them.

But for me their biggest similarity is also their greatest flaw. They both believe that they are owed their political positions. They have listened to their own hype, to their own yes men and women, and now cannot understand how anyone could even doubt their rights to the highest political offices in their respective countries. And they are mystified as to why people prefer the likes of Obama and Cameron - those newbie, political lightweights.

And this indignant failure to understand why people prefer Cameron and Obama is proving to be the undoing of both of them. Cameron and Obama do lack gravitas - they are have all the political weight of a size zero supermodel on a diet and a bulimic binge. But - despite this - those lightweights manage to capture the public imagination. Partly by being young, partly by being photogenic, and partly by being inoffensive. Clinton and Brown are old. They look bitter, they are mired in the bogs of their respective political histories. It will be a devastating realisation for both of them; that their time has been and gone. Brown should have run for Labour leader in 1994 - even he could have beaten Major in 1997. And Clinton should have taken on Bush in 2004. By waiting for too long they showed themselves to be calculating, inhuman political machines. And thus left themselves wide open to being eclipsed by less experienced by brighter, sunnier and more human competitors.

Give it up, people. Retire into the shadows with whatever dignity you have left. Because if you stay in the sun too long, you will melt - with your legacies - away into nothing.