Kicking a man when he is down and loving it

Sometimes I feel sorry for Gordon Brown. No, really, I do. He is such an easy target these days - a lumbering, injured buffalo of a politician - just waiting for someone to fire the fatal shot, and hating every moment of his miserable existence until someone finally does. Kicking Gordon Brown sometimes seems a little like kicking someone in a coma - fucking easy, but ethically wrong. Hell, even Ming Campbell could probably kick Gordo's sorry ass in this day and age.

Of course, those moments are moments of embarrassing weakness, and they soon pass. Just as soon as I remember just some of the mountains of reasons that exist to justify despising Gordon Brown. Because everything, everything about him screams that here, in this dour, grey form, we have a man utterly deserving of hate and angry contempt. John Prescott - a lard mountain in human form - describes Brown as irritating, and you believe him. John Prescott claims Blair was frightened of Brown, and you believe him. Frank Field talks of Brown's rages, his unreasonable behaviour, and you believe him. There is something about Brown that demands you believe the worst of him. He looks haggard, he looks bitter, he looks unhealthy. Frankly, a piss stained drunk looks marginally more healthy - and certainly more in love with life - than our PM. And then there is his behaviour. He seems to revel in the misfortune of others, at the same time as hating the world every time when even the most minor calamity befalls him. He is like a sulky teenager, without the redeeming quality of being able to grow out of it.

Plus, to a large extent, he is the agent of his own misfortune. Despite his attempts to distance himself from not only everything that happened under Blair but also increasingly under his own premiership, Brown has been at the summit of the political mountain in this country for over a decade. And those events that have most hobbled his time as Prime Minister are entirely his own fault. Think about the election misfire. Or the 10p tax rebellion.

Perhaps it is something in the British psyche - that we feel guilty for laughing at those who have fallen on hard times, even if it is their own fault. But if you feel that way about Gordon - don't. Because - and you'll have to trust me on this, but deep down you know it already - he'd laugh at you if you fucked up and ruined your big chance. Hell, it is that sort of moment that probably represents the only occasions when his sour, grey, creased and ill-looking face is cracked up by a smile.

Gordon Brown; a miserable failure. I know, I know; I've said it before. And I guess I will end up saying it again. But we have the worst Prime Minister since Anthony Eden - maybe even Neville Chamberlain. And I am convinced we have one of the most egregious occupants of Number 10 in history. And whilst it is easy to have a pop at Gordo, I believe that - whilst he resides in Downing Street - all those cheap shots should be made.