David Miliband *Political Genius*

David Miliband is an astounding character. Not good or capable or worthy of even the most grudging respect, but astounding nonetheless. And what has the clueless fuckwit done now to warrant the adjective “astounding”? He has guaranteed that he will have no place in a Brown cabinet by laying into Gordo on national television. The BBC quotes him as saying:

“I predict that when I come back on this programme in six months or a year's time, people will be saying 'wouldn't it be great to have that Blair back because we can't stand that Gordon Brown'.”

Ignoring the fact that people may be saying “it would be great to have that David Cameron in charge because we can’t stand that Gordon Brown” rather than wishing for the return of the terminally compromised Blair, I think it is a bold statement to slag off the man who not only is going to be your next party leader but also the next Prime Minister. Miliband seems to be running towards political oblivion with a determination that stuns me. Not only is Miliband slagging off Brown, but he is compounding the sin by praising Brown’s nemesis*.

But being a Nu Labourite he very quickly flip-flops:

"I think Gordon Brown will be the prime minister. I think he will be a very successful prime minister, but I think that in politics it is at election time that people make their judgements."

So he is going to be a very successful Prime Minister who no-one likes? And even in his compliment to Brown, Miliband still manages to get in a little dig. He is almost saying even if Brown is successful as PM it will all be irrelevant as come election time Brown will lose.

Which begs the question what the hell Miliband thinks he is doing. I think he is utterly stupid, and politically tone deaf, but there may be some sort of political strategy behind what he is doing. As the BBC goes on to note:

“Mr Miliband, often tipped as a future Labour party leader…”

He is positioning himself for the leadership, pure and simple. Now I think the Labour party would be insane to elect the pompous, self-important and geeky Miliband as leader – and the thought of Miliband as Prime Minister makes me laugh until quiet tears of laughter cascade down my cheeks. But that doesn’t mean that Miliband won’t run, and it doesn’t mean that Miliband doesn’t want to be leader.

In spite of the fact that Rambo Reid has pretty much wiped out his chances of being the Blairite challenger through the ongoing crises at the Home Office that he has presided over, it will be too early for Miliband to run for the leader when Blair eventually stands down/is forced from office. Miliband’s game could be more cunning – he slags off Brown now, and therefore does not get a place in the Brown Cabinet. This would mean he is not associated with the Brown led Labour government that will, most probably, lose the next election to Cameron. He will then be a key contender for Labour leader after Cameron enters Number 10.

And I almost hope it happens – Miliband runs for the Labour leadership. Because I think he will lose, and the thought of Miliband running from the political centre stage, like a spoilt schoolboy (complete with tears of impotent rage running down his smug face), fills me with joy on this cold and drear Friday morning.

UPDATE:

According to The Times Miliband is being urged by senior Blairite ministers to run for the leadership when Blair finally gets booted. And like all good leadership contenders he is denying that he has any intention of running. Ho hum. But according to a close friend (I know, I know, it is amazing to think Miliband actually has any friends) he is getting into a little huff about the fact that people will not believe he does not want to run, commenting "Do I have to chop an arm off to prove it". Well, frankly, David, yes. If you chop off your arm, preferably on live television, I will believe that you are not seeking the leadership. Can't say fairer than that.

*It says something about Nu Labour that Brown’s nemesis is not an opposition leader, but rather his former friend and election winning Prime Minister. One of the many negative legacies of Nu Labour is this farcical “Politics as Soap Opera” that the Blair/Brown squabbling has created.