100th post - and I got spam as a present!

Sent to my yahoo account. Subject "Respond Immediately Please":

"Dear friend,

Thanks for spending your time to go through this proposal, even though we do not know each other. It would have been more formal for a transaction or business of this magnitude should have commenced properly with a formal meeting between you and us to enable both parties know ourselves, have a fore knowledge of the nature of the business, discuss and acquaint ourselves with the responsibilities and functions of both parties and appropriate shares accordingly.

Let me start by first introducing myself properly to you. I am financial advisor on offshore and real estate investment and management with a private security & finance company in Thailand. My company work for
expatriate community here in Thailand and neighbouring countries. I came to know of you in my private search for a reliable and reputable person to handle this confidential transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum confidence.

The proposition is this: A Foreigner, Eng. Al-Akram Bin Abdullah an Iraqi Oil Merchant/Contractor with the Thailand National Petroleum Corporation, lodged the sum of $19.5 Million USD with our company. Upon
Maturity, I have sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply, after a month I sent a reminder and finally discovered from his contract employers (TNPC) that Mr. Abdullah died in war in Baghdad last year. Ever since no close relative or family has come forward to claim the money deposited with us. Therefore, my colleague and I, who are the direct fund managers, have decided to move/transfer this fund into a nominated foreign account, for future investment. To this regards, we sincerely request for your immediate assistance and co-operation for our mutual benefit.
1. I will forward to you copies or the deposit certificate and agreement
2. I will issue to you a Transfer Authorization of the Consignment,
3. We shall guide you up in all that we will do in ensuring that we claims this consignment as soon as possible.
You should rest assured that no one will question it because all financial deposit Certificates and transfer authorization pass my desk for final approval. To facilitate a smooth transaction, we have agree on the
following : 20% of the money for you as reward, 10% For expenses on hotel , flight tickets and any other, While, 70% shall be for us {I and my colleague} All these will be worked out as soon as we get your interest and acceptance. Upon the receipt of your mail message, send to me the following:
Your private telephone and fax number for easier communication and to enable me fax to you the documents concerning the consignment. This is a sensitive and private business, The knowledge of which should be restricted , therefore do not discuss it with a third party, and bear it mind that these funds is not terrorist or drug money. I am assuring you of a 100% risk free transaction.

While awaiting your prompt reply, please contact me on these emails: xxxx or xxxx

Best Regards,
M/s,Luara Jones"

My reply:

"Dear Laura (if that is your real name - I doubt it, since you mis-spell it in the final line of your e-mail)

Ordinarily I would delete shite like this from my e-mail account without reading it, but it is Sunday and I have nothing better to do than fire vitriol at some slack jawed fucktard who is spamming me. So let me point out a few things to you:

1. I don't reply immediately to anyone. Not even friends and family. So it is highly unlikely I would respond to someone so simple mentally that they cannot spell their own name.

2. I don't open attachments from people I do not know. Particularly those who are offering me money.

3. Re: me sending you my private phone number: ha ha ha ha ha. And the idea that I would have a fax number is even more fucking stupid.

4. It is a shame that the money is not from drugs or terrorism. That might make your turgid and frustratingly badly written e-mail a tiny bit interesting.

5. As for being confidential, well, I think that may have gone out the window. I have posted your e-mail on my blog, along with my reply. Thought it might amuse one of my seven readers. As an act of mercy, I have not put your e-mail addresses on there. Rest assured, if you send me this sort of crap again, I will not only publish them on my blog but also write them on the wall of the gents in a couple of dodgy pubs I know, with a suggestion that you like a good time in return for money.

In summary, fuck the fuck off.

Worst regards,
The Nameless Tory (and no, that is not my real name)"

Puerile, pathetic and immature I know. But she/he/it brought it on themselves.