The Daily Mash's take on the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is spot on in its analysis of why oil is pumped:

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Oil companies aren't pumping this stuff just so they can have it sitting around in buckets under their stairs.

"They pump it because you want it. And what's more, you don't particularly want to pay for it, thereby ensuring it gets pumped in a dangerous and haphazard way - much like a Friday night skank on a playground swing."

They even manage to have a quick pop at George Monbiot:

Professor Brubaker explained that oil is used in some form by virtually every human being on the planet and that even George Monbiot is currently writing one of his absurdly childish articles on a laptop computer that could not possibly exist without it.

Excellent stuff!