The Tories and the NHS: Still not got a fucking clue.

What is it with Tory MEPs and the NHS at the moment? We've got another one wanting to throw his ideas into the mix. Perhaps they want to be helpful and offer some advice to Cameron, whose policies on the NHS could best be described as non-existent beyond platitudes like "the NHS is good".

Personally, I have some sympathies with the comments of Hannan. The same can't be said for Dr Chris Tannock and his fucking stupid ideas for the NHS:

"I would be totally in favour of small co-payments, small payments being made if you turn up to things and perhaps small fines being levied if you do not."

Right. So you would need to pay to use the NHS, and pay even more if you are unable to make an appointment you have already paid for. Which would be fine, if the NHS was currently free. However, it isn't. It is only free at the point of service. The NHS has already been paid for by every taxpayer in this fucking country. Under Tannock's plan, you would pay once for the NHS through your taxes - whether you use the fucking thing or not. You'd then pay even more to see someone you have already paid for through said taxes. And then, if you don't make an appointment, you get fined. Which means that the British tax-payer could pay three times and still not see a doctor. I can see this idea being less than popular...

"I know they are controversial but I don't think people who are in a job would be against say spending £10 to see their GP or being fined £10 if they don't show up to an out-patients, so that's the sort of thing I would like to see."

What a wonderfully circular statement. As a small question around the logic of this statement, why would it be controversial if people aren't against it? And if people did object to it, would Tannock drop the plan? If so, why doesn't he oppose it because, by his own admission, it is controversial?

Tannock's words show just how detached he is from the day to day reality of life in this country. I think people who work hard to fund the NHS through their taxes (whether they want to or not) would seriously resent having to pay £10 each time they want to access a service that they have already paid for. It is like ordering something online, paying for it online, going to the store and paying for it again when you pick it up. Of course people would object to this! It is ripping them off, and then rubbing their face in it.

Besides, we all know that the abilities of GPs vary considerably. What would happen if you paid £10 to see a GP, and they couldn't do anything to help you? What if they refused you medication when you believed you needed it or when you had got it in the past? Would you be able to ask for a second opinion? Would you have to pay another £10 for that second opinion? Or would you be entitled to a refund? Because I know that if I got shitty service from a restaurant or another service provider, I'd ask for (and normally get) my money back. And I wouldn't already have been funding that restaurant through my fucking taxes!

To summarise Tannock's suggestion on GPs - you pay even more for them. Let's all give Dr Tannock a round of applause. Don't worried if you're feeling too tired to applaud effectively with both hands; this is the sort of proposal that begs for the sound of one hand clapping.

Still, fortunately the Tory in charge of not doing anything different with the NHS, Andrew Lansley, is on hand to dismiss these ideas:

He added: "Charles may say 'oh well £10 to see a GP' - well that would not make any difference to hospital care and frankly, if you tried to put in such a system, by the time you have done all the bureaucracy of raising the money and levying some fines, you would not be raising any money for the NHS anyway."

I just want everyone to take a moment and digest Lansley's response. Staggering, isn't it? At no point does he raise an objection to the idea of people paying even more for the NHS, and at no point does he talk about value for money for the poor fucking consumer. The poor people who the NHS is meant to be serving. No, the problem with Tannock's plan is that it wouldn't raise any more money for the NHS. Good God above, give me strength!

The NHS gobbles up money like a fat man with a hungry tapeworm gobbles up pies. It isn't going to make a blind bit of difference if you spend more money on the NHS. It will consume the money, not change in any way whatsoever, and then ask for more money. Any policy that advocates the same level of spending or more for the NHS is stillborn; it is destined to fail. If nothing else, Nu Labour has proved that conclusively in the 12 years they have been in power.

Tannock needs to get a grip. Lansley needs to get a grip and a fucking policy. Cameron needs to get a vision on the NHS that accepts the need for radical change. In about nine months time, these people are going to be running the NHS. And as things stand, they have nothing that will help the people the NHS is meant to serve get the level of service they have already paid for and deserve.