Twattering

If I'm honest, I don't get the whole interweb thing. This blog is the extent of my interweb powers and knowledge. And as the more webwise of you will have clocked from the layout, it is all about the content, rather than the presentation.

One of the many things I don't get about t'interweb is Twitter. Sure, I understand what it is and how it works, but seriously, what is the point in it? Who really wants to know what the odious Derek Draper is doing on a moment by moment basis? And Stephen Fry may be an eloquent chap, but does that really mean that he has the words or ideas to keep a Twitter feed updated 24/7? I mean, the only thing that could be more boring or irritating than being trapped in a lift for an hour is reading about some other fucker trapped in a lift for an hour.

There is no way I could ever bring myself to have a Twitter feed, for three reasons:

1. Few people would read it.
2. Those that did read it would probably say stuff that would just piss me off.
3. I wouldn't really have anything to say on it.

And it is the third reason that is most important for me. I'd just have nothing to say. I mean, "The Nameless Libertarian is re-reading Misery", or "The Nameless Libertarian is hungover again" or "The Nameless Libertarian has just had a hearty poo" is hardly scintillating stuff even for me - and I'm the person it is happening to.

Most of the time, it is hard enough to haul my fat ass into coming up with posts for this blog. The added pressure of having to do a Twitter feed might drive me to distraction, as I am forced to appear more interesting than I actually am or ever want to be for the sake of a barely read Twitter feed. Regular readers will know I seldom comment about what is happening to me on this blog. That isn't because my life is shockingly dull or anything, but rather because I know me relaying it under a pseudonym to a selection of readers I don't know would be shockingly dull.

I know people use Twitter for different reasons. And it is hideously popular. Then again, the Black Death was once really popular. Maybe I'm missing something; maybe the curmudgeon in me won't get with the programme and embrace the latest Internet fad. But fuck it; I've seen nothing on Twitter (other than a faked post from a faked Dean Gaffney feed suggesting he was going to be the new Doctor Who) to convince me that it is a worthwhile medium. Enjoy your tweeting, twittering, twattering, whatever the ruddy fuck you want to call it, guys - but just remember that there may be more to life than interacting through your computer screens so much.