Gordon Brown: Spend, spend, spend!

Gordon Brown:

"We will bring the same focus and determination to the task of safeguarding jobs and homes and small businesses, as we have done to avert the threatened meltdown of financial systems."

That's us fucked then.

Despite some of the spin that continues to float around like the odour of rancid feet, Gordon Brown is no economic genius. In fact, he would struggle to hit the level of economic lackwit. I reckon I know more about sensible economic policies that Gordo, and you could sum up what I know about those policies on the back on an envelope. You know, one of those really small envelopes that come with those tiny cheap Christmas cards that you send to those relatives you never really see and don't really like.

Of course, the big problem isn't that Gordon is an economic incompetent. In fact, he shares that dubious accolade with a whole host of other people in this country who failed to take into account the simple economic law that you can't spend more that you actually have in funds without something going wrong at some point. The big problem is, though, that Gordon is using the national purse to pursue his absurdly inane economic travesties. Yep, when he talks about spending his way out of this downturn, what he means is we'll be spending our way out of this economic downturn through our taxes. Whether we like it or not.

I'd have less of an issue with this if Gordon wasn't so shite. Unfortunately, I have as much confidence in Gordon to manage the economy as I do in that piss stained tramp I saw in St James' Park this morning managing to get through the day without buying some super strength lager. Seriously, as soon as Gordon tries to do anything it goes down the toilet. He has the touch of the reverse alchemist - give him a bar of gold, and he will turn it into water. Politicians make good calls and bad calls; Brown is unique in pretty much only being able to make the latter. We may as well have that piss-stained tramp in St James' Park this morning as our Prime Minister. The tramp is probably more socialble.

Look at what happened with the banks that Brown half-nationalised. Their share value has plummeted, and the position of those banks will get worse as the government uses its influence to try to manage those banks. Gordon took billions of pounds to buy substantial shares in those banks; the sagacity of his investment (of our money) can be seen in the share prices of those organisations. So what do we think will happen when Gordo spends even more of our hard earned cash trying to spend his way out of a recession? Fuck me, forget about recession; we'll probably be in in a depression by the end of the week.

But Gordon has to do something; his usual strategy of sitting still in an angry panic is no longer applicable in the current economic climate. People are screaming for action; even Gordon can't ignore that. The problem is that Gordon doesn't really understand how to alleviate the problems of the coming recession. Like the *good* socialist he is, he thinks the only way to save the country is by spending money like it is going out of fashion. However, the real solution that might help to kickstart the economy is a tax cut. A tax cut in an area that would allow consumers to regain some confidence and start spending again (even if that tax cut needs to be balanced with a tax increase in another area). The current economic slowdown is caused in part by a complete lack of confidence on the part of the people. A tax cut might help to persuade them that the government isn't going to use this crisis as an excuse to rob them of every single penny they earn, and might allow them to get enough confidence to start spending again.

However this idea will never, ever be taken up by the likes of Brown. The concept of tax cuts is alien and scary for Gordo, and the idea that the people might be able to spend the way out of this recession themselves is just insane in Gordonland*. Brown will never look at the facts, like the role the government played in creating the current economic situation or the inept way in which they have tried to handle it. Instead he will repeat the mantra "government knows best, government knows best, government knows best" as he heads to the bank with the taxpayer's credit card in his hands.

Forget the spin, forget the rhetoric - ignore anyone who states anything that contradicts the simple indisputable truth that Gordon Brown is an economic incompetent. And ignore anything that says that Nu Labour are solving the current economic crisis. The policies that Brown's government are pursuing are the equivalent of poking an angry bear with a stick: it is going to make things a whole lot worse before they get any better.

*A horrific place where nightmares come true...