The Curse of Calamity Clegg

Nick Clegg – the face that bedded 30+ women*

Here’s a question for you – why isn’t Nick Clegg having more success?

Yes, I know part of the problem is the party who he chose to join and then chose to lead. But other Liberal Democrat leaders, in particular the ginger drunk, have managed to get much more success than Calamity Clegg. Put simply, what is Clegg’s problem?

David Cameron is the correct answer. Cameron has managed to steal the mantle of the Liberal Democrats, and in doing so has removed the need for Clegg and his merry bunch of environmentalists, vegetarians and geography teachers.

Before any of the fans of Cameron get their knickers in a twist, I am not talking about Cameron stealing the policies of the Lib Dems. That’s a whole other debate to be had another time. But Cameron looks and acts just like a Lib Dem. In that he appears to be moderate, reasoned, middle of the road and – crucially – not threatening. After years of Tory leaders who look foetal, or like middle managers in unethical banks, or even vampires, the Tories have a leader who looks like a normal human being. Aesthetics shouldn’t be important in how people chose who to vote for, but ultimately they are. And Cameron looks like someone friendly enough for a normally Lib Dem voter to back.

Look at this way. Whilst you probably wouldn’t leave your kids with Cameron, you’d be happy for them to be in the same room as the Tory leader. You wouldn’t say the same thing about leaving them in a room with Gordon Brown. You’d be afraid that he might tear them apart with his teeth to make an obscure point about austerity or something. Cameron looks, in an era where marketing and PR is more important than ever, like someone who isn’t a threat.

Which renders Nick Clegg, whose sole selling point is that he is young and non-threatening, completely pointless. He is leading a party who struggle to clearly identify themselves at the best of times, and often fall back on the personality of their leader to distinguish themselves from the two main parties. With Clegg they can’t do that. As limited as Cameron’s ability might be, he is at least more capable than Nick Clegg.

Had Vince Cable run, then the Lib Dems might actually have had a leader capable of leading and someone who could have positioned them in a way that make them distinct from the two main parties. But he didn’t, and the Lib Dems elected Calamity. Which means they have a leader who is, to all intents and purposes, a waste of time.

The ironies are almost breathtaking, given the party itself is arguably a waste of time.

*Picture via the BBC.