Gordon Brown: Just. Plain. Ghastly.

Something very strange is happening in this country. Our Prime Minister – who just two months ago was about as popular as genital warts – is undergoing something of a renaissance. Gordon is rapidly being seen by some as the saviour of not just the UK economy, but also the global economy as well.

This image is, of course, palpable nonsense. As Guido points out, Brown’s much-hyped tax-cutting plan is coming months after the stimulus packages in may other countries. Plus, his room for manoeuvre is severally restricted by the massive budget deficits Labour have built up. And make no mistake about it, these tax cuts will have to be paid for – through further taxes. At a later date. From me and thee. All of this makes me quite jealous of Gordon. I would love to be absolutely shite at my job – and sluggish about what work I actually do – and still be praised as a genius.

God knows how this will all turn out. It is conceivable that Brown may actually win the next General Election. And with that he will more from being the least successful Prime Minister of recent history, and may even win a place in history that is something other than being a bad joke.

However, there is at least one aspect of how Brown will be written up in the history books that will not change. I’m sure – and I am absolutely convinced – that Gordon will be remembered as the least likeable person to inhabit Downing Street in recent memory.

Of course, every Prime Minister has those who will dislike them – and some of the dislike will be absolutely visceral. And even Prime Ministers venerated by some still have substantial flaws. Thatcher became increasingly shrill and insane during her time in power, whilst Clement Attlee was a non-descript non-entity. Likewise, even failed Prime Ministers tend to be liked by some. Both Major and Douglas-Home were praised by some as honourable people with impossible jobs to do. Callaghan – despite failing in each of the great offices of state – is also seen by many as a decent, upbeat and friendly character who was great to work with. But regardless of whether Gordon ends up compounding his existing failings or managing to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, I have no doubt that Brown will be recorded by posterity as a thoroughly unpleasant public figure.

His whole person exudes rage, and he spends most of his time glowering and sulking like a particularly resentful teenager. With a hangover. Who has just been grounded. But you know what? I’m happier when our Prime Minister is sulking. Because when a smile cracks his grey face – something that resembles a razor wound in a pub fight – it generally means Brown has fucked someone over. Sometimes it will be the opposition, sometimes it will be members of his own party. But most of the time, he will have fucked us – the taxpayer, you and me – over in some way. That godawful smile means the glowering git has shafted us in some way.

Then there is the complete lack of empathy or any sort of social skills. The evidence is all there - the early morning calls to voters, the rages against Downing Street secretaries, the total awkwardness at all public events. There is nothing to like in the way Gordon Brown operates, and as a national ambassador he is utterly embarrassing. Unless the UK wants to project an image of being angry, bitter and emotionally retarded.

Finally (in this by no means exhaustive list of the failings of our Prime Minister) there is the refusal to allow any objections or any criticisms of the way he operates or what he has to offer. I’ve already discussed this, but at the risk of repeating myself, Gordo seems to resent absolutely anyone disagreeing with him. Even if it is someone like, y’know, the opposition opposing him. This is not the behaviour of an open-minded leader in a democracy; it is the zero-tolerance mindset of a dictator. Hyperbole, maybe, although in fairness we can question Brown’s commitment to democracy. What his ongoing refusal to put his leadership to any meaningful sort of an electoral test.

I feel a revulsion to Gordon Brown that I just don’t feel to the leaders of the other parties in this country. Sure, they aren’t great – Nick Clegg has all the gravitas and use of an empty KFC wrapper, blowing in the breeze. And David Cameron’s leadership is little more than a prolonged ego-stroke for the man himself. But either one of them is preferable to the dour drip. However history judges Brown, I am sure that it will state this – that Gordon Brown is just a ghastly person, and, based on the image he projects to the public, has one of the worst personalities ever to become Prime Minister in this country.